Can Someone Marie Kondo ME?

It’s my first Monday post of 2019. Does that tell you anything? January was a DISASTER for me. But it’s Monday, and it’s a day to start fresh. My goal for 2019 is to freshen up my house (as well as my body). After 23 years in this house, we have made very little changes over the years. Sure, we’ve replaced worn-out furniture, and I turned my dining room into an office of bookcases, but we have not done much else. My house was built in 1996. We were the original buyers and at the time it was a “starter house” so we got the standard builder cabinets, counters and tile in the bathroom, and we laid our red oak floors ourselves. 23 years ago there were no wood floors in Florida, so it was … [Read more...]

The Sandwich Generation – Guest Post by Chelly

Guest Post by Chelly Massey I am a part of the Sandwich Generation, and no that’s not because I started Keto and don’t eat bread. Although some days, I would cut off my left hand for a #11 no tomatoes from Jimmy John’s. No, I am a member of the ever-growing population known as “The Sandwich Generation.” The phrase was coined back in 1981 by social worker Dorothy Miller, to describe those adults in their 30-40s who are caring for our aging parents while also raising our own kids and growing our careers. I was forced into this role back around 2011. 18 years earlier, my Dad in his early 50s was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. At that time, I thought Parkinson’s meant shaking hands and … [Read more...]

Getting Old Sucks

The Side Effects No One Told Me This morning I was putting on my makeup about 45 minutes after I got up and noticed the sheet marks still creasing half of my face. A few years back, they would be gone after my first morning pee. Today they were still there when I left the house. Luckily my long hair covered most of it because I looked disfigured. As I am struggling to lose weight, I do worry about my skin not bouncing back. I have seen people who lose weight look much older, and when people tell me I don’t look even close to my age, I know it’s just my fat plumping out those wrinkles. Yesterday I trimmed and refreshed the purple in my hair. My hair grazed my ass when it was wet, and … [Read more...]

Messy Bun, Yoga Pants and Working from Home

Guess what I’m wearing? The same thing I wear every day. Yoga pants. One of my 100 pairs of black yoga pants and one of my 100 v-neck black t-shirts. We had no plans this weekend, and I honestly don’t remember the last time I showered. Ummm, now might be that time.... BRB. Ok, it’s 3 hours later and I am showered and dressed in a fresh pair of black yoga pants and a black t-shirt. Why does a shower turn into three hours? Well, shave everything and refresh the purple on my hair, a conditioning mask, then I read because I got overheated from the shower and had to lay down. Eyebrow grooming, then I had lunch and I’m back. Such is the life of a work-at-home mom. And also the reason it’s been … [Read more...]

Confessions of a Night Owl

Confessions of a Night Owl One thing I always read is that morning people tend to be healthier and thinner. People who eat breakfast are usually thinner. People who get the right amount of sleep tend to be thinner. No wonder I’m fat! My bedtime is 4:00am. Last night I tried for 2 but it was 4:40 before I got in bed, then read till 5. When I was in college I scheduled later classes and often pulled all-nighters to study (still graduated at the top of my class). When I had a real job out of the house, I was late every day. It was my only issue. I also stayed late at work every day, always the last to leave. Why? Because I was not productive before noon. I was in advertising sales, so we … [Read more...]

Going Overboard for the Holidays

My husband grew up going overboard for the holidays. His parents would go broke and into debt for Christmas, and my guy is no different. I LOVE Christmas. Since I'm Jewish, I didn't grow up with it, so I tend to overcompensate now. My 12 foot tree, and a house filled with decorations are one part, be we also tend to go crazy with gifts. I say we, but it's not really we. It's HIM. 12 foot tree not withstanding, I tend to be the more practical one. It's how I was raised. My husband is so careful with money, but at Christmas, all bets are off. As the kids get older, they want more expensive items. But because we want them to have lots of surprises to open, we tend to get a little too much … [Read more...]

Real Christmas Tree vs. Fake Tree?

Maybe because I didn't grow up with Christmas. Maybe it's because I like them huge, but to me it's a no-brainer. I love going and picking out a tree at the tree tents. It is stupidly stressful because if I'm spending between $150 and $200 on a tree, it better be fucking perfect. The asshats at Home Depot (which has the cheapest big trees by far) never know when they are getting new ones in, and don't even bother calling first, you can't get a person who knows anything. As I said, we like them BIG. 12 feet+ is hard to find! But once I get it in the house, I love the smell. I even love the sap and the needles. It's Christmas to me! I love the fact that my tree is different every year. I … [Read more...]

Celebrating the holidays as a mixed religion family

My kids are pizza bagels. Half Jewish and half Italian (Catholic), they are brought up with the traditions of both religions.  My husband was brought up to go into debt every Christmas and that Santa gets the kids everything on their list. Unfortunately, that traditions has continued here. (More on that tomorrow.) I have always loved Christmas. I'm Jewish, and was not brought up with a Hanukkah bush or anything like that. We had a menorah. Period. But my dad and I would go for a ride and look at the lights every year. I loved that. I must say though, I was jealous of all of the families with their sparkly decorations and always wanted that. I met my now-husband at Christmas. I went to … [Read more...]

When Your Teen is Smarter Than You

I'm not stupid. I graduated college with a 3.98. But that was a LONG time ago. All that knowledge has disappeared into a cloud of pot smoke. Seriously, when I substitute teach, I won't even teach 6th grade math. Ugh, math. I hated it then, I hate it even more now. I may know more about life than my son, but I have to admit, he knows more about a LOT of stuff compared to me. He is in 11th grade and taking 3 AP courses (he has already taken two) and is in all advanced classes. He is busy learning every day, while I'm reading dirty books and spending my day on Facebook and twitter. So yeah, at this point, the fucker is smarter than me, at least book wise. But there is the key word … [Read more...]

Making Me Clean

Starting on Monday is my motto with everything, not just dieting. I'm the queen of procrastination. I work way better under pressure, which is why I tend to write best after midnight when I want my post up the next morning. I'm also a bit of a slob and a pack rat. I have a cleaning lady once a week, and she just shoves my stuff wherever she can so she can clean beneath it. My bathroom counter is full. But I can't clean that up until I make room in my drawers and under the sink. Right now my drawers get stuck when I open them, and things fall on my toes when I open the cabinet under my sink. But when I start cleaning, I make it worse. I start emptying drawers to clean them...then I get … [Read more...]