Plus Sized Women with Average Sized Men

I'm plus sized my husband is not. Last week a ‘fitness trainer’ wanna-be model wrote that he and his friends laugh at men who have partners that are bigger than them. This really hit home for me and hurt more than I wish it did. My husband is 150 pounds. I will never be 150 pounds again. Even when we met when I was a size 7, I was 144. I was also 19 and didn’t have 2 kids and a connective tissue disease. My husband, bless him, has never said a word about my weight gain over the years. He fell in love with my ass at 144 pounds and still tells me he loves it daily, 31 years and 70 pounds later. He still lets me know he wants me. He still makes me feel desired. He still compliments … [Read more...]

Fat Shamers Not Welcome Here

More Fat Shamers Show Their Colors If you didn’t hear all of the commotion yesterday, there was a little backlash to the Cosmopolitan UK cover with plus-sized supermodel Tess Holliday on the cover. Some fitness trainer/wannabe model suggested that people unfriend him if they find that attractive. The nasty responses from people who agreed with him were absolutely horrifying. Yes, Tess put herself out there knowing there would be backlash and not caring, in fact, that’s WHY she did it. Tess Holliday has been an outspoken advocate for body confidence since she created the #effyourbeautystandards campaign on Instagram. She said she created the popular hashtag “out of frustration” and to … [Read more...]

Scared to Weigh In

I weigh in tomorrow on Weight Watchers. In the 9 days before I started WW I did My Fitness Pal and lost 4.2 pounds. But I got on my scale today and was up .4 pounds. I have followed Weight Watchers so easily this week, maybe it was too easy? I had a good number of points left every day, and I know people say to eat more points, but I'm not hungry! And if I do eat more, I prefer fruit, which is 0 points. The majority of my points this week were spent on fats. Since I am a night owl, I don't eat until around 1pm, and 3 eggs and a slice of light toast with a teeny bit of butter is 1 point. If I want a snack, I have fruit or veggies.  Then I have a dinner of grilled chicken or shrimp & … [Read more...]

Weight Watchers…Again

Giving Weight Watchers Another Try It has been 19-20 months since I posted on this blog, and in that time, I have gained another 19-20 pounds! I was so excited to try Jasinda's plan and go sugar free. But when everyone else in the group was showing a ton of progress and nothing was happening for me, it really made me feel even worse. I also found it unrealistically hard for me because I don't cook much, my connective tissue disorder got way worse from walking, and my husband and son were still eating pizza and crap. So I've been very seriously considering the gastric sleeve surgery. I've done a lot of research, and I have seen so many successes. But what I'm finding is that those that … [Read more...]

This Big Girl Is Gonna Do It!

I keep starting and stopping this blog. I get really into it when I'm on a new diet, then after a few weeks, when I'm back to my normal eating, I abandon this page. Sure, I lose 10-20 lbs, but I put it back on, with some interest within weeks. I'm a sugar junkie. And I mean junkie in a very real sense. It's a drug to me. I can't remember the last day I went without a sweet treat. But it isn't just sugar, it's carbs as well. And cheese. I look like I'm 8 months pregnant. I have front butt. I'm a size 20. But my husband and older son struggle to GAIN weight (fuckers). My younger son and I just look at food and another jelly roll appears. THEY can eat whatever they want and do. And … [Read more...]

Happy 2016!

It has been a LONG time since I have been active here! But with the first Monday of 2015, I am ready to begin this journey again. I'm actually still about 5 lbs less than when I last tracked in February 2015, thank goodness. I have been scared to weigh myself for the last 10 weeks. Today I bit the bullet and went for it. If I can't be accountable to myself at least, I will never get anywhere. 2015 was a great year and a really bad year. My son (who is now 18) was playing in a band about 4 nights a week at various bars and restaurants. There was lots of drinking, and eating out as well as other indulgences. It was amazing to see my son play with a band that has been around for 25 years and … [Read more...]

I Hate My Body

It’s not cool. It’s not new. It’s not politically correct. And it can’t be overcome by just saying “stop!” I hate my body so much it affects every aspect of my life. I'm not "curvy", I'm fat. I can't embrace my "curves". When I was curvy (and I was--I had an hourglass figure before kids, now I am an apple) I did embrace it. Sure, I had a big butt, and some mean girls would let me know, but the guys liked it. I wasn't one of those girls like my son's ex who talks about how much she hates herself while she has pictures in a bikini all over Facebook. I always had a bit of a struggle with my weight, but as I've gotten older, weight won...and I have basically given up. Otherwise, I love my … [Read more...]