This Big Girl Is Gonna Do It!

I keep starting and stopping this blog. I get really into it when I'm on a new diet, then after a few weeks, when I'm back to my normal eating, I abandon this page. Sure, I lose 10-20 lbs, but I put it back on, with some interest within weeks. I'm a sugar junkie. And I mean junkie in a very real sense. It's a drug to me. I can't remember the last day I went without a sweet treat. But it isn't just sugar, it's carbs as well. And cheese. I look like I'm 8 months pregnant. I have front butt. I'm a size 20. But my husband and older son struggle to GAIN weight (fuckers). My younger son and I just look at food and another jelly roll appears. THEY can eat whatever they want and do. And … [Read more...]

Happy 2016!

It has been a LONG time since I have been active here! But with the first Monday of 2015, I am ready to begin this journey again. I'm actually still about 5 lbs less than when I last tracked in February 2015, thank goodness. I have been scared to weigh myself for the last 10 weeks. Today I bit the bullet and went for it. If I can't be accountable to myself at least, I will never get anywhere. 2015 was a great year and a really bad year. My son (who is now 18) was playing in a band about 4 nights a week at various bars and restaurants. There was lots of drinking, and eating out as well as other indulgences. It was amazing to see my son play with a band that has been around for 25 years and … [Read more...]

I Hate My Body

It’s not cool. It’s not new. It’s not politically correct. And it can’t be overcome by just saying “stop!” I hate my body so much it affects every aspect of my life. I'm not "curvy", I'm fat. I can't embrace my "curves". When I was curvy (and I was--I had an hourglass figure before kids, now I am an apple) I did embrace it. Sure, I had a big butt, and some mean girls would let me know, but the guys liked it. I wasn't one of those girls like my son's ex who talks about how much she hates herself while she has pictures in a bikini all over Facebook. I always had a bit of a struggle with my weight, but as I've gotten older, weight won...and I have basically given up. Otherwise, I love my … [Read more...]

We Are Who We Are Guest Post by Melissa Collins

Guest post from Author Melissa Collins: I recently saw a Facebook post from one of my long-time friends who wrote that her six-year-old daughter came home from school one day complaining that she was “fat.” Now, I had only just had lunch with my friend and her daughter over the holiday break and I can one-thousand percent testify to the fact that her daughter is most definitely not fat.  She is intelligent and creative, shy but inquisitive – in short, she’s pretty much a dream come true. But even if she was “fat”, would her “fatness” negate all of those things. Does being “fat” make you less intelligent? Less important? Less worthy of love? No, it doesn’t, but somewhere along the way, … [Read more...]

Crash Diet or Lifestyle Change?

I'm good at crash dieting. If I can lose 20-30 pounds in a month I'm all over that shit. Unfortunately I usually make it for about 5 weeks, lost that 30 pounds, then stuff my face and gain it back plus 10 pounds for my trouble. I do this about once a year. Those extra 10 pounds a year for years makes for a very big girl. 19 years ago, I lost 43 pounds on Weight Watchers and kept most of it off for 2 years till I got pregnant. To lose that weight I was obsessive. And I ended up way too skinny to maintain. I worked out twice a day. I didn't have kids yet, so counting exchanges (the program back then was before points) was kind of fun. I liked the puzzle every day of how I would divide my … [Read more...]

Really and Truly….Starting on Monday

I got a treadmill for Christmas! It's been in my room, all set up since last Friday, over a week ago. I haven't used it yet. I was still on vacation. Not to mention the awful cold I've had. Today though, it's Monday. The first Monday of the New Year! New habits I'm adopting: (small changes!) WATER WATER WATER!!!!  I suck at drinking water. I need to set an alarm to make me drink! 15 minutes on the treadmill a day for now (let's not push it). No more Diet coke. Tracking on My Fitness Pal Wearing and using my fitbit daily (works with My Fitness Pal!) At least 3 servings of fruit and veggies a day (I currently have none). Cut cookies/sweet snacks down to weekends only. (OK, … [Read more...]

Guest Post: Diet Cheating by Beth Waters

Diet Cheating We’ve all done it. We’ve all started a diet and before the first week is complete we give ourselves a reason to eat that piece of cake at the birthday party, or to get fries instead of a salad. Sure, that’s fine if you want to be on the downward spiral to weight gain, not weight loss. So since we all cheat while on diets, why do we do it? Little did you know, cheating on a diet is actually great for your diet. What!? Did I just say that? Yes, cheating on a diet is great for your diet when done correctly. Here’s why: Start with a lifestyle diet? To begin, we need to make sure we are on the same page about what a diet actually consists of. I’m not talking about a diet … [Read more...]

The Second Time is Never the Charm

Have you ever noticed that no matter how well you do on a diet, the second time on the same program is way harder? I have done well on several diets, Weight Watchers (years ago, before points), Smart for Life Cookie Diet, HCG.... but the second time I never last more that 3-4 weeks. In the beginning, it's new and exciting, and you are all hung-ho, buying every bit of crap they sell to help complete your goal. Emptying out your cabinets. Buying new workout gear and gadgets and memberships.  But when the newness wears off is when we fail (or at least I do). I have joined Weight Watchers at least 10 times since I initially hit my goal almost 20 years ago, but was never able to go past 5 … [Read more...]

Actually Starting on Monday (Never Really Happens)

I have absolutely no motivation. This is ridiculous. I look in the mirror and I'm sickened about what I see, yet I don't do a damn thing about it! There is always a reason for me to "Start on Monday". I am by far the heaviest I've ever been. I gain weight preparing for a diet that never comes. So I decide to shove everything in my face like it's the last meal ever because I'm 'starting on Monday'. I just got back from vacation. I ate so much I actually feel my skin stretching. It doesn't matter that I walked a ton, I ate more.  I totally intended on being good this past Monday. Then I realized how many goodies I still had in the house. I had to get rid of them first, right? So as a … [Read more...]

Guest Post by R.L. Griffin: My Fat Pants Are Too Tight!

Guest Post by Author R.L. Griffin My weight is something I've thought about every single day of my life since I was 13. Although I'm excited to do this guest post, it pisses me off, because I wish I didn't have to think about my weight.  I wish that I didn't have to exercise to stay the same weight, but I do, so that's reality.  I've always been a well rounded body type.  I competed in gymnastics from the time I was 6 until the 6th grade.  I trained and practiced at least 2 hours a day every day.  I'm an athlete, always have been.  From my years of gymnastics I was muscular, very toned for my entire adolescence.  Of course, I thought I was fat.  I wasn't.  When I hit college and wasn't … [Read more...]