Another Year Older, Another Year Fatter, Wiser, Happier.

I'm old. When did this happen? My husband is 8 years older than me, and he is in his 50s!!! FIFTIES!!!!!????? WTF? How did this happen??? When did this happen? In my mind, I'm still 21. I don't look it, I look silly acting like it, but I just can't understand how I tuned old. But I'm not old! There are people that are always old. You know those people? They could be you own age but they feel so much older. Then there are the ones that hit that mid-life crises and go crazy, and others that still look awesome, even better than high school, still act young and crazy, are cool parents, and have just settled into a happy groove. That's where I am in my life...settled into a happy groove. I am … [Read more...]

The Lies We Tell Ourselves

How often do you lie to yourself? Try to trick yourself? I can't tell you how often I step on and off then back on the scale hoping there would be a slightly different result. The other day, I forgot to wear my fitness monitor in the morning. Then had particularly vigorous sex. I was so mad that it didn't register! (What am I supposed to hook it to?) So what did I do? I stuck it in a ball of socks and ran the dryer. WTF? Who else was I tricking besides myself? I forgot about it for a bit, left in in too long and was so excited it had three lights already. Really. I did that, and somehow believed my own lie? How does that even happen? I lie to myself a lot. Like when I say I'll … [Read more...]

Super Nerd Princess Begins Her Journey

I have an unhealthy relationship with food. If this were Facebook, I’d click “It’s complicated.” I love food. I love its smell, its taste, its...ok I need to stop. Anyway, I took my kid to the park the other day and had the most brilliant idea to have my picture taken with him. Under normal circumstances, it wouldn’t be a big deal but when you’re so large you actually BLOCK THE SUN, it’s something to take into consideration. I came home and wept. Real tears. And then I ate. Why? Because food is comforting. I’m so big already, what’s the difference if I have 4 quarter pounders and a large fry? And maybe some of my son's small fry? I’m beyond help. After my self loathing concluded, I … [Read more...]

Guest Post: Things Not To Say To a Thick Chick

By Guest Reviewer, Kerry G 1. "You have such a pretty face, if only..." What, if only I lost weight? I struggle sometimes to not place my self-worth solely on my outside. Most women do. If someone's pretty, weight shouldn't change that. We all have beauty and worth that have nothing to do with looks. 2. "It's not that hard, just eat less and exercise more" Really? Wow, that never occurred to me. I know all about nutrition. And exercise. But if it were that easy, we would all be thin. But it's not. It's motivation. It's willpower. It's support. These aren't excuses, they're my struggles. I'm not dense. I'm thick. 3. "Don't you want to be thin?" No, I want to be a healthy … [Read more...]

Why I’m Chubby

I admit it. I'm not one of those people who says "I don't understand why I'm fat!"  I know why. I eat crap all day and don't exercise. Plain and simple. I go on crash diets. I lose a chunk of weight but never hit goal. Then I gain it all back with interest. Every time I start with healthy eating...number one, I have issues with number 2...haha, in other words fiber does not work in my body. Runs in the family. It makes dieting a little more challenging, but of course, EXC-- USE. What else is new? Right? Do you really want to know what my excuse is? I'm fucking lazy, and I'm happy. Yup! I'm happy! Am I happy with my body? No. I hate it. But obviously not as much as I hate not eating … [Read more...]

Guest Post by Rachel O’h-Uiginn

The Repairer: How I learned being overweight doesn’t mean I am broken   By: Rachel O’h-Uiginn, CEO & founder, Undercurrent Coaching for Curvy Gals Since the age of twelve, I’ve been overweight. All of my adult life I’ve been overweight. But since the age of twelve I’ve also thought something was wrong with me because I was overweight. I was then and still am a very physically active person, eat healthy meals, and could tell you in perfect detail about the Weight Watchers program (lost 50lbs once) and how best to train for a 5K race. Yet still, I’ve cried many times asking “what is wrong with me? Why can’t I actually lose/keep off weight?” and each time I do, I feel myself … [Read more...]

How am I Old? I Still Think Like a Kid!

Recently I went away for Wicked Girls Book Weekend, and found myself at the older end of the spectrum. What? When the fuck did I get OLD? I mean I found myself hanging out with a few girls that have MOTHERS younger than me! WTF? I'm in my mid 40s. I have a second grader and a teenager, so they keep me kind of young. Most people tell me I look way younger, but really, who is going to say I look my age? I think that having the extra fat just puffs out my wrinkles. But I'm sure my fair skin and my avoidance of sun have helped. My husband is significantly older than me, I think he looks pretty hot too, despite the hair loss. I consider us the "younger" group of the people my age. There … [Read more...]