I Hate My Body

It’s not cool. It’s not new. It’s not politically correct. And it can’t be overcome by just saying “stop!” I hate my body so much it affects every aspect of my life. I'm not "curvy", I'm fat. I can't embrace my "curves". When I was curvy (and I was--I had an hourglass figure before kids, now I am an apple) I did embrace it. Sure, I had a big butt, and some mean girls would let me know, but the guys liked it. I wasn't one of those girls like my son's ex who talks about how much she hates herself while she has pictures in a bikini all over Facebook. I always had a bit of a struggle with my weight, but as I've gotten older, weight won...and I have basically given up. Otherwise, I love my … [Read more...]

We Are Who We Are Guest Post by Melissa Collins

Guest post from Author Melissa Collins: I recently saw a Facebook post from one of my long-time friends who wrote that her six-year-old daughter came home from school one day complaining that she was “fat.” Now, I had only just had lunch with my friend and her daughter over the holiday break and I can one-thousand percent testify to the fact that her daughter is most definitely not fat.  She is intelligent and creative, shy but inquisitive – in short, she’s pretty much a dream come true. But even if she was “fat”, would her “fatness” negate all of those things. Does being “fat” make you less intelligent? Less important? Less worthy of love? No, it doesn’t, but somewhere along the way, … [Read more...]

Crash Diet or Lifestyle Change?

I'm good at crash dieting. If I can lose 20-30 pounds in a month I'm all over that shit. Unfortunately I usually make it for about 5 weeks, lost that 30 pounds, then stuff my face and gain it back plus 10 pounds for my trouble. I do this about once a year. Those extra 10 pounds a year for years makes for a very big girl. 19 years ago, I lost 43 pounds on Weight Watchers and kept most of it off for 2 years till I got pregnant. To lose that weight I was obsessive. And I ended up way too skinny to maintain. I worked out twice a day. I didn't have kids yet, so counting exchanges (the program back then was before points) was kind of fun. I liked the puzzle every day of how I would divide my … [Read more...]

Really and Truly….Starting on Monday

I got a treadmill for Christmas! It's been in my room, all set up since last Friday, over a week ago. I haven't used it yet. I was still on vacation. Not to mention the awful cold I've had. Today though, it's Monday. The first Monday of the New Year! New habits I'm adopting: (small changes!) WATER WATER WATER!!!!  I suck at drinking water. I need to set an alarm to make me drink! 15 minutes on the treadmill a day for now (let's not push it). No more Diet coke. Tracking on My Fitness Pal Wearing and using my fitbit daily (works with My Fitness Pal!) At least 3 servings of fruit and veggies a day (I currently have none). Cut cookies/sweet snacks down to weekends only. (OK, … [Read more...]

Guest Post: Diet Cheating by Beth Waters

Diet Cheating We’ve all done it. We’ve all started a diet and before the first week is complete we give ourselves a reason to eat that piece of cake at the birthday party, or to get fries instead of a salad. Sure, that’s fine if you want to be on the downward spiral to weight gain, not weight loss. So since we all cheat while on diets, why do we do it? Little did you know, cheating on a diet is actually great for your diet. What!? Did I just say that? Yes, cheating on a diet is great for your diet when done correctly. Here’s why: Start with a lifestyle diet? To begin, we need to make sure we are on the same page about what a diet actually consists of. I’m not talking about a diet … [Read more...]

The Second Time is Never the Charm

Have you ever noticed that no matter how well you do on a diet, the second time on the same program is way harder? I have done well on several diets, Weight Watchers (years ago, before points), Smart for Life Cookie Diet, HCG.... but the second time I never last more that 3-4 weeks. In the beginning, it's new and exciting, and you are all hung-ho, buying every bit of crap they sell to help complete your goal. Emptying out your cabinets. Buying new workout gear and gadgets and memberships.  But when the newness wears off is when we fail (or at least I do). I have joined Weight Watchers at least 10 times since I initially hit my goal almost 20 years ago, but was never able to go past 5 … [Read more...]

Actually Starting on Monday (Never Really Happens)

I have absolutely no motivation. This is ridiculous. I look in the mirror and I'm sickened about what I see, yet I don't do a damn thing about it! There is always a reason for me to "Start on Monday". I am by far the heaviest I've ever been. I gain weight preparing for a diet that never comes. So I decide to shove everything in my face like it's the last meal ever because I'm 'starting on Monday'. I just got back from vacation. I ate so much I actually feel my skin stretching. It doesn't matter that I walked a ton, I ate more.  I totally intended on being good this past Monday. Then I realized how many goodies I still had in the house. I had to get rid of them first, right? So as a … [Read more...]

Guest Post by R.L. Griffin: My Fat Pants Are Too Tight!

Guest Post by Author R.L. Griffin My weight is something I've thought about every single day of my life since I was 13. Although I'm excited to do this guest post, it pisses me off, because I wish I didn't have to think about my weight.  I wish that I didn't have to exercise to stay the same weight, but I do, so that's reality.  I've always been a well rounded body type.  I competed in gymnastics from the time I was 6 until the 6th grade.  I trained and practiced at least 2 hours a day every day.  I'm an athlete, always have been.  From my years of gymnastics I was muscular, very toned for my entire adolescence.  Of course, I thought I was fat.  I wasn't.  When I hit college and wasn't … [Read more...]

Guest Post: Dieting and Gas…WTF?

  <standing up> Hi. I’m Lisa and I love food. I’m also overweight-by a lot. I have dieted a bazillion times which means I have tried every one of those fucking things.  I’m what you call an Oprah. That’s right. My weight goes in and out and up and down like a bad accordion. One minute I’m thin, the next minute I’m bloated, can’t see my cankles, and I’ve grown a double back with a matching double chin.  My ass and stomach are the same in circumference and you can’t tell the difference front to back. . Almost every day I think, geez I REALLY need to diet again. I had my son 8 years ago. “Oh you’ll lose that baby weight”. You know what? I didn’t! In fact, I think I’m the same weight … [Read more...]

The Fucking C-Section Shelf Pooch

It's all their faults, the fuckers. 2 C-sections. Now I have this THING. Granted, I'm on the fat side. But it's so concentrated in my lower belly above my scar it's strange looking! (That is NOT my belly...mine is bigger) What is this gigantic thing hanging from my body? Before kids I had a butt, but my waist was ridiculously small and I had no tummy. My mom used to have to take in my jeans at the waist. My whole family has big butts and small waists and chests. Then I got pregnant and gained 65 points with my first kid (I actually came out of the hospital weighing more than when I went in to give birth and never took a pound off). Every pound was in my stomach. For years, people … [Read more...]

Weight Debate: Nature vs. Nurture

I have two boys. One is 16, 5'10.5" and 125 pounds soaking wet. The other is a third grader, born chubby, and still is. Now if you look at mom and dad, you see the difference as well. Dad is all muscle, without an ounce of fat. He has to try to stay at 150, but often dips below (fucker). Me...lets just say I weigh a lot more. My husband and oldest son LOVE junk food, and my teen eats it non-stop. My husband just forgets to eat. (WTF? Who forgets to eat?) My little guy is not a big eater. He eats regular portion sizes. But he loves his sweets. Mr. Ana and my little guy are also the pickiest eaters ever (Mr. Ana is ridiculous, he eats like 5 things), so finding healthier choices isn't … [Read more...]

Chubby Women with Skinny Men

My husband is all lean muscle. All 150 pounds that he struggles to keep on his 5'10.5" frame. He struggles to gain weight! I want to just say a big fuck you to him, but then again, I love every inch of his body. And, yeah, he is big where it counts. When we met, I was average sized, about a size 8. He was even skinnier than me then. As the years have gone by, we have both put on weight. His is 20 pounds of muscle. Mine is 75 pounds of fat. He forgets to eat!!! Who does that? I have NEVER forgotten to eat! I could be stuffed to the gills, but I'm still thinking about what I should eat next. He doesn't really snack, I can find something to snack on all day (and I do). Part of me would … [Read more...]

Guest Post: Forever Fluffy by Kari

Forever Fluffy… To hear my sister tell it – I’ve never been fat.  “You’re just fluffy” she says. I’ve struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember.  I’ve ranged from a size 12 to a size 26.  During my younger years it was hard.  I was teased by kids in school, criticized by teachers, and had meals withheld by adults who felt I was “fat enough”.  In high school, I was ignored by almost all the boys that I had crushes on, called out by a dance teacher in an incredibly public way that caused me to stop dancing – even though I’d been doing it since I was 7 and loved it.  I cannot even tell you how many times I’ve been told the dreaded “you have such a pretty face, if only you’d … [Read more...]

Another Monday and I’m Eating Chocolate

Motivation? What motivation? I'm too busy to deal with the focus it takes to diet. Once again, the excuses are mounting. First, it was 3 weeks of non-stop up-all night prepping for Wicked Book GNO, then we were busy with the kids the next week, last week I didn't bother, because I knew I wouldn't stick to any diet. So once again, I'm paying for Weight Watchers and not going. Now I'm prepping to leave town for 2 weeks, following my teenage son on tour with the School of Rock Allstars, camping at a hippy festival (Gathering of the Vibes) then going to Washington DC for a few days of tourist fun. Honestly, right now I just don't give a fuck. I am what I am, and I don't have the time, … [Read more...]

Fitness Summer Bucket List-Guest Post by Emily

Fitness Summer Bucket List When you are into fitness there are great opportunities specific to each season. By altering your fitness plan from season to season, it is a great way to keep things interesting and not slack off. My summer “bucket list” may sound a little over-zealous, but each of these goals has different requirements to reach so it will certainly keep me motivated! First, I would love to complete a 5K in less than 20 minutes. While a 5K isn’t a distance run, it isn’t sprint either. It should be a combination of speed and distance. I like to be fit, but focusing on a running time has never been a focus of mine, so this is completely new to me. What is most important to me is … [Read more...]

No Photographs Please

When I am gone, my kids will have so few photos of me. I HATE myself in photos. I have a few good ones, but I avoid the camera like the plague. I have a GAZILLION photos and videos of my kids. Hard drives filled with them. With both kids being performers now, I have filmed EVERY performance, sometimes in triplicate. But me??? Out of the 30,000 photos in my iPhoto library from the past few years, I would say I'm in 25. Book Bash was last week. As I met the authors, they asked if I wanted to be in photos with them. I responded once, "It's not about me, it's about you guys", which is true. But really, I didn't want to ruin my one chance at a photo of my idols with my double chin. I know … [Read more...]

Monday Motivation: Guest post- Joanne, 150 pound loser!

Howdy from Florida everyone, Former, but forever, fat girl here. My name is Joanne and I lost 157 lbs., which took 3 years (it’s been 5 years since the start of this journey).…I have since gained 17 lbs. of it back, so I’m in panic mode…so I guess now I say I lost 140 lbs.….we all know how easy it is to gain and how quickly it can spiral out of control.  I’ve been working like a whore trying to lose it. It is not easy and it’s not working.  The older you get the harder it is.  I am going back to the start to try and get on track. Here’s what I did. 1)     Went to the doctor – you have to make sure the heart can handle what you are about to do to it 2)    I went to the nutritionist – … [Read more...]

Another Year Older, Another Year Fatter, Wiser, Happier.

I'm old. When did this happen? My husband is 8 years older than me, and he is in his 50s!!! FIFTIES!!!!!????? WTF? How did this happen??? When did this happen? In my mind, I'm still 21. I don't look it, I look silly acting like it, but I just can't understand how I tuned old. But I'm not old! There are people that are always old. You know those people? They could be you own age but they feel so much older. Then there are the ones that hit that mid-life crises and go crazy, and others that still look awesome, even better than high school, still act young and crazy, are cool parents, and have just settled into a happy groove. That's where I am in my life...settled into a happy groove. I am … [Read more...]

The Lies We Tell Ourselves

How often do you lie to yourself? Try to trick yourself? I can't tell you how often I step on and off then back on the scale hoping there would be a slightly different result. The other day, I forgot to wear my fitness monitor in the morning. Then had particularly vigorous sex. I was so mad that it didn't register! (What am I supposed to hook it to?) So what did I do? I stuck it in a ball of socks and ran the dryer. WTF? Who else was I tricking besides myself? I forgot about it for a bit, left in in too long and was so excited it had three lights already. Really. I did that, and somehow believed my own lie? How does that even happen? I lie to myself a lot. Like when I say I'll … [Read more...]

Motivation in my Pocket

I've mentioned my ActiveLink, right? I have got to tell you, this thing is awesome. After a week of seeing my current activity level (zero, zilch, nada), the Activelink program sets an achievable goal, to get you moving more. There are 6 lights on the active link. You need to light 4 to hit 100%. Once you light up the 4 lights, your lights do a little happy dance. I can't tell you how much I love those lights dancing! I have forgotten to put it on right away twice now, and let me tell you, I was scrambling at midnight to get those lights lit up! At first, I wished it came in black, like the fitbit, because I always wear black, and this thing is noticeable in the pocket of my shirt. … [Read more...]