No Photographs Please

When I am gone, my kids will have so few photos of me. I HATE myself in photos. I have a few good ones, but I avoid the camera like the plague. I have a GAZILLION photos and videos of my kids. Hard drives filled with them. With both kids being performers now, I have filmed EVERY performance, sometimes in triplicate. But me??? Out of the 30,000 photos in my iPhoto library from the past few years, I would say I'm in 25. Book Bash was last week. As I met the authors, they asked if I wanted to be in photos with them. I responded once, "It's not about me, it's about you guys", which is true. But really, I didn't want to ruin my one chance at a photo of my idols with my double chin. I know … [Read more...]

Rocker Mom

I'm a Rocker Mom. Literally. My 15 year old has been in a band since he was 12, and performed even before that. He has been going to School of Rock since he was 10. The program there is to teach classic rock to kids, and then after 3 months they put on a show at a live music venue. Usually bars. Smoky, bras-hanging from the ceiling, liquor lining the stage bars. He first asked for a guitar at 4. His pre-school music teacher had one, and he wanted one just like hers. He was hooked, and got an electric guitar from Santa a few months later. Now I have to tell you here, we have a HUGE collection of classic rock CDs. Both of my kids were named for Beatles. But neither my husband or … [Read more...]

I’ve Been So Lucky

I'm so lucky. I have some amazing dads in my life. I read, a lot. And so often I read about people with horrible childhoods. I thank my lucky stars I grew up with a great family and my daddy is my hero. I remember him working a lot of hours, but he was very successful, and the hours he put in were worth it. I knew that young. Still, he was home for a late dinner with his family almost every night. He never missed any events or plays. He is a phenomenal husband who loves my mom like crazy. And I'm scared shitless of losing him. As his 80's approach, however, I still don't see my parents as old. They still have a great love and a great life. They travel the country to be at all of their … [Read more...]

Another Year Older, Another Year Fatter, Wiser, Happier.

I'm old. When did this happen? My husband is 8 years older than me, and he is in his 50s!!! FIFTIES!!!!!????? WTF? How did this happen??? When did this happen? In my mind, I'm still 21. I don't look it, I look silly acting like it, but I just can't understand how I tuned old. But I'm not old! There are people that are always old. You know those people? They could be you own age but they feel so much older. Then there are the ones that hit that mid-life crises and go crazy, and others that still look awesome, even better than high school, still act young and crazy, are cool parents, and have just settled into a happy groove. That's where I am in my life...settled into a happy groove. I am … [Read more...]

Super Nerd Princess Begins Her Journey

I have an unhealthy relationship with food. If this were Facebook, I’d click “It’s complicated.” I love food. I love its smell, its taste, its...ok I need to stop. Anyway, I took my kid to the park the other day and had the most brilliant idea to have my picture taken with him. Under normal circumstances, it wouldn’t be a big deal but when you’re so large you actually BLOCK THE SUN, it’s something to take into consideration. I came home and wept. Real tears. And then I ate. Why? Because food is comforting. I’m so big already, what’s the difference if I have 4 quarter pounders and a large fry? And maybe some of my son's small fry? I’m beyond help. After my self loathing concluded, I … [Read more...]

Does being an asshole make you a “cool kid”?

I'm sure by now you all know about the dickhead from Abercrombie & Fitch. “He doesn’t want larger people shopping in his store, he wants thin and beautiful people,” Lewis said. “He doesn’t want his core customers to see people who aren’t as hot as them wearing his clothing. People who wear his clothing should feel like they’re one of the ‘cool kids.’” See the article here. Funny, my kids (even my 7 year old) look at kids wearing Abercrombie and wonder if they realize it's NOT cool to wear a brand to try to BE cool. In this day and age, where bullying is getting worse and worse with all the electronic ways to bully, this asshole is just furthering the hate. As much as I'd … [Read more...]

I’m excited!

I began this journey on Weight Watchers kind of reluctantly. Usually when I start a new diet I am so gung-ho, and all I want to do is find out HOW LONG it took everyone to lose the weight. Now I have no deadline. Just a commitment to go to meetings once per week. I don't want to be skinny. I just want to be a nice size 14. (My size 18 pants have been getting snug). I knew I had to do something. But this isn't all or nothing. Thank fuck, because I would have failed numerous times already, and given up. I love that I can eat anything, but this forces me to make the better choices. I'm still struggling with eating a lot of junk, but I am aware of what I'm eating because I have to write it … [Read more...]