Plus Sized Shopping: Where are the clothes?

As the size of America's waistlines are increasing, places that sell plus sized clothes that you can actually see, feel and try on are dwindling. I'm in South Florida. It's hot here. I don't want to wear polyester mu-mus. Also, I am fat. I don't want to wear sparkly rhinestones, big bold patterns and too-sexy clothes that call attention to me.  Nor do I want to wear grandma's polyester clothes. I just want the same clothes that are in the regular stores, only bigger! I love Torrid jeans. But the closest Torrid is over an hour from us here, so I have to order online. When something doesn't fit though, I never deal with online returns. One of the local Forever 21 stores has a Plus sized … [Read more...]

Spanx to the rescue?

I'm not sure if it's Spanx to the rescue or I need a rescue from my Spanx! My kids were playing (they're in a band) at a safari themed fundraiser the other night. It was at a fancy golf and country club, so I knew I had to dress up. Sadly, I looked in my ridiculously-overfilled-with-clothes-I-don't-wear walk-in closet and I don't own one single thing with animal print. (90% of my closet is black, grey or purple) So I went with one of my standby black maxi dresses. It's been a while since I dressed up. I'm in Florida where it's still in the high 80s, but of course I had to wear a shrug to cover my fat arms. Now the question....what to wear underneath the dress? It covers a lot, but I had … [Read more...]

Guest Post: Forever Fluffy by Kari

Forever Fluffy… To hear my sister tell it – I’ve never been fat.  “You’re just fluffy” she says. I’ve struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember.  I’ve ranged from a size 12 to a size 26.  During my younger years it was hard.  I was teased by kids in school, criticized by teachers, and had meals withheld by adults who felt I was “fat enough”.  In high school, I was ignored by almost all the boys that I had crushes on, called out by a dance teacher in an incredibly public way that caused me to stop dancing – even though I’d been doing it since I was 7 and loved it.  I cannot even tell you how many times I’ve been told the dreaded “you have such a pretty face, if only you’d … [Read more...]

The Dreaded Chub Rub

When your thighs rub and chafe, dresses are nearly impossible! I love dresses. They are cute, comfy, and hide a multitude of sins. In fact, I have a ton of trouble buying clothes. But this week I ordered 6 dresses online and they ALL fit, and looked OK! I live in Florida. It's hot as hell, and there is nothing as nice and cool as a summer dress, right? Yeah, right. That is, until you take about 10 steps and your sweaty thighs start to rub together. Then you take another 10 and the burn begins, 10 more steps and a gigantic rash erupts all over your thighs. Lovely. So much for summer dresses! And you don't have to be fat to experience this. I had it in high school. I was not fat by any … [Read more...]

Does being an asshole make you a “cool kid”?

I'm sure by now you all know about the dickhead from Abercrombie & Fitch. “He doesn’t want larger people shopping in his store, he wants thin and beautiful people,” Lewis said. “He doesn’t want his core customers to see people who aren’t as hot as them wearing his clothing. People who wear his clothing should feel like they’re one of the ‘cool kids.’” See the article here. Funny, my kids (even my 7 year old) look at kids wearing Abercrombie and wonder if they realize it's NOT cool to wear a brand to try to BE cool. In this day and age, where bullying is getting worse and worse with all the electronic ways to bully, this asshole is just furthering the hate. As much as I'd … [Read more...]

What the Fuck is on My Face?

I'm not a kid anymore. I don't get zits often (luckily I never did), but a few times a year I get a big zit around my period. For the last few days, my upper lip has been bothering me, and today I woke up with this mambo, jumbo, three headed MONSTER on my lip!!! My whole face hurts, my mouth and mustache area are crooked, and if I could, I'd bury my head for a few days until it is gone. Or wear a sign that says "It's a zit, OK?" My 15 year old has acne. He doesn't give a crap. I do! And it hurts! It is so painful I can't fully squeeze it. Any suggestions? I was going to add a few of the zit popping videos on YouTube here, but honestly, I almost barfed up a lung when I watched one. So … [Read more...]

The Bra Fitting

I HATE bras. Hate them! The first chance I get I do the whip your bra off thing under my shirt. At any time, you may walk in my house and see a bra flung somewhere. So I look for comfort. But if I don't wear an underwire, my boobs look like a flat pool noodle is around me. I haven't been properly fitted for a bra since I put on 50 pounds. I was a 36 B, at my last fitting (that woman scarred me, she came into the dressing room and manhandled my boobies while stuffing me into a bra) and all I have done is increase the back size since. I am now a 40 B. Or so I thought. I have bought new bras lately that fit pretty well. So the other day, I popped in a store to get some clothes for the … [Read more...]

Adding some color to my wardrobe….or not

The other day I had an acquaintance tell me she thought she saw me someplace. When I told her it wasn't me she said, "I guess it just looked that way from behind because you always wear a black t-shirt and dark jeans." She is right. At last count (and I'm sure I missed a few) I had 19 of the SAME shirt, motto mention the 100 other black shirts I have bought but rarely wear because they have either gotten shorter or hug my muffin top too much. It is the plus sized boyfriend shirt from Target (see photo). Tissue weight, long and boxy, they don't show anything I don't want them to. I always layer long necklaces and long cardigans or vests, but I literally wear a fresh one every day. As … [Read more...]

Plus Sized Shopping

I fucking hate shopping for clothes, though I still do it way too often. I have to get a new outfit every time I go away. Something new to wear makes me feel a little better about myself. The problem? There are so few places to go and try stuff on for plus sized girls. We have Macy's plus, which is OK if you can dig through the old lady clothes and the way-too young for me clothes. We have one Lane Bryant around here, but they are out of 18s in almost everything all the time. We had 2 Avenues, but one closed, leaving the crappy one with really nasty salespeople. Target has some cute stuff once in a while. That's it. There is no other place within 30 minutes to shop for cute plus-sized … [Read more...]

On getting dressed……

I have been home with a sick kid for a week. A WEEK! Now my husband has the flu as well. Yay me. You know what that means? No nookie. No chauffeur. No guy to run out and get a few things. So yesterday, now that he is in bed, I finally had to run out and get a few things, and drive my healthy spawn around. I realized I hadn't left my house in 4 days. FOUR FUCKING DAYS! Which comfortably meant no bras for 4 days, no tight jeans for 4 days, no makeup for 4 days. That part was kind of nice. But I have to tell you, my house is a mess. WTF? I'm home, just on the computer from the minute I wake up till 3 am. I'm not sure what the hell I've been doing, but it sure as hell hasn't been personal … [Read more...]