Chubby Women with Skinny Men

1149015_563813513654090_275783350_nMy husband is all lean muscle. All 150 pounds that he struggles to keep on his 5’10.5″ frame. He struggles to gain weight! I want to just say a big fuck you to him, but then again, I love every inch of his body. And, yeah, he is big where it counts. When we met, I was average sized, about a size 8. He was even skinnier than me then. As the years have gone by, we have both put on weight. His is 20 pounds of muscle. Mine is 75 pounds of fat.

He forgets to eat!!! Who does that? I have NEVER forgotten to eat! I could be stuffed to the gills, but I’m still thinking about what I should eat next. He doesn’t really snack, I can find something to snack on all day (and I do).

Part of me would like to be with a bigger guy, just to feel smaller for a change. But not really. I love my guy. He NEVER makes me feel fat. He is strong enough to move me and flip me into any position he wants, and NOT ONCE has he ever made a comment about my weight. In fact, he still tells me he loves my body every day. He isn’t a so-called “chubby chaser” but I know he prefers a woman with a little meat on her bones (especially an ass, but not meat like mine!).

Why is this coming up? Well we recently had a fight about it. He thinks I really want someone bigger. I think he would naturally want someone smaller. What a stupid thing to fight about! I love my guy more than anything. And I love him exactly the way he is, as long as he loves me the way I am (and if our very active sex-life is any indication, he does). We have been together for 26 years and I have always been bigger than him. But he’s still the alpha, strong, manly-man I love.

A few weeks ago, I was on Last Call with Brittany. All 6 of us had the same thing!!! We all have skinny husbands! Apparently this is more common than I realized.

There is a teenaged kid that goes to my son’s music school. He is skinny like my son (who is 5’10” and 125), but his girlfriend has at least 50 pounds on him, she is definitely a curvy/chubby girl. I saw him with her about 8 months ago, and I was so happy to see that.  I immediately liked the kid more for looking past all the superficial bullshit to what is inside. When I saw the couple again this past weekend, I was thrilled to see them still together. The boy is in college now, and still with the curvy (but cute) girl.

I always feel like people are looking at us wondering what he is doing with me. Then I meet someone like the awesome Jasinda Wilder who is a gorgeous bigger girl with a very small husband. And I love them together. I have to learn to stop worrying about what others think and start worrying about things that deserve my worry. Like being HEALTHY.

What are your thoughts? Are you bigger than your guy? Do you look at couples like this and wonder what’s up? Does your husband’s weight affect you?

Comments

  1. Nasha Lama says:

    I don’t have a guy 🙁 *sigh* i am insecure most of the time but I learn to love myself thanks to Jasinda’s book to be honest. Is hard sometimes because it hits me, the fact that I don’t have a boyfriend, never had one and I’m 20 which sucks. But I am trying no to think about it much and enjoy life. I know there’s gonna be someone out there who will love my curves, I know that because people like you, Britanny, Jasinda and many more, ALL OF YOU are a really amazing inspiration <3

  2. When my husband and I met, we weighed the same, though he is 4″ taller than me. Years and kids later, I outweigh him by a good 20-30 lbs (and at non-pregnant times, at my heaviest, outweighed him by a solid 70 lbs). He does.not.care. He loves me how I am and for who I am. So many of my insecurities come from a deep-seated sense that my body is “wrong” and never — not once — has he said anything about it that wasn’t loving and sensual. If anything, it was my issues with my body that caused problems *for him*.

    For instance, he’d compliment me on an outfit and I’d point to my jelly belly and say, “Sure, this would fit better if I didn’t have *this*.” Finally, a few years ago, he got very quiet, and then very angry. Having his compliments consistently batted away as if they were wrong was extremely invalidating *to him* and he couldn’t understand how I didn’t see myself as the loving, hot woman I was — not in spite of the extra weight, but weight and all. Curves and love. He was angry at the forces and people in my life who had shredded some part of my self-esteem and made me feel lesser.

    And that was when I began to let go of all the crap society poured into my head and just live my life as a sensual being with a partner who appreciated and craved *me*.

  3. Sharon Chalk says:

    I have been overweight all my life,Im now turned 50 and wear a size 2x.It is very fustrating and quite frankly I have let it take over my life and I regret it now,when I was younger and men told me that I looked good,I figured that they were either lying or were so horny they would sleep with anyone. I realize now that I did it to myself and that if I would have listended to these guys I might be happily married.My daughter who is 6 feet tall and weighed 200 lbs which is not that fat for someone 6 ft tall but she started hooping,which is basically doing dance steps while hula hooping and she gets the video lessons free on you tube,the started hooping in feb,she has not changed her diet because she has 2 kids and a husband and it would be too expensive to buy seperate meals,but she is now down to a size 6 and weight 152, I told her at 6 feet tall she should not lose any more weight and she said she won’t but now shes really addicted to hooping,it even got rid of her arm flats and while Im not healthy enough to do this,for those of you young enough and willing to devote 30 to 45 minutes a day this is a great way to lose weight,3 of her friends have started and all of them are losing about 2 lbs a week without changing their diets,although one side effect is that my daughter now can’t stand to eat fried foods,they make her nauseous,but for those who can’t do all those really hard excersises and can’t afford to buy special foods just for 1 person.you should check into this,it is working for all my daughters friends that saw how much weight she lost and has kept off.While Im very proud of her ,I hate it that even tho she looked good before,she felt fat and became somewhat of a hermit ,now she outs all the time enjoying herself and while Im happy for her I really hate that she felt so bad about herself before specially since she was only about 50 pounds overweight and at 6 feet tall it wasn’t that obvious.Now of course shes complaining because she wears a size 6 and can’t find any pants long enough for her.Being a woman can be so difficult at times !!!!!!!

  4. My hubby is way taller than me, 6’1 to my 5’3. I am (3 healthy boys later) now wider around than he is. He still outweighs me, but the insecurity is there. I have never been a skinny Minnie, hips and boobs have been there since I was 10. I have also never been more insecure than I feel now. Nick is very supportive, constantly reassuring me that he loves me as I am, but constantly worried about my health. I don’t worry so much about him being unhappy, but I hope to be around for my boys and Nick so the exercise and diet are a constant thought in the back of my head. Nick’s worry about my health, more than my weight, makes me love him even more. So, bigger or smaller, as long as my blood sugar, pressure, and all stay in check, I am perfectly happy with me. Yes it does piss me off that he only has to say the word “diet” and he drops 10 lbs, but he has no problem with me being curvy.

  5. Mia Ellames says:

    I’m a uk size 16, maybe not huge but certainly bigger than 90% of the people I seem to meet here in Ireland. My hubby puts me to shame really 🙁 He runs a lot and does approx 6hrs of martial arts training a week. (I seem to mind the kids while he does all this exercise whilst never seeming to find the ‘time’…okay motivation to do the same). As a result, he is CONSTANTLY hungry so when I try and only do healthy meals or not buy junk foods he complains. I buy it for him, then eat it myself! He can afford to eat whatever he likes due to burning it off, whereas I can’t control myself around it. It SUCKS!

    Mia

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