Happy 2016!

It has been a LONG time since I have been active here! But with the first Monday of 2015, I am ready to begin this journey again. I'm actually still about 5 lbs less than when I last tracked in February 2015, thank goodness. I have been scared to weigh myself for the last 10 weeks. Today I bit the bullet and went for it. If I can't be accountable to myself at least, I will never get anywhere. 2015 was a great year and a really bad year. My son (who is now 18) was playing in a band about 4 nights a week at various bars and restaurants. There was lots of drinking, and eating out as well as other indulgences. It was amazing to see my son play with a band that has been around for 25 years and … [Read more...]

I Hate My Body

It’s not cool. It’s not new. It’s not politically correct. And it can’t be overcome by just saying “stop!” I hate my body so much it affects every aspect of my life. I'm not "curvy", I'm fat. I can't embrace my "curves". When I was curvy (and I was--I had an hourglass figure before kids, now I am an apple) I did embrace it. Sure, I had a big butt, and some mean girls would let me know, but the guys liked it. I wasn't one of those girls like my son's ex who talks about how much she hates herself while she has pictures in a bikini all over Facebook. I always had a bit of a struggle with my weight, but as I've gotten older, weight won...and I have basically given up. Otherwise, I love my … [Read more...]

We Are Who We Are Guest Post by Melissa Collins

Guest post from Author Melissa Collins: I recently saw a Facebook post from one of my long-time friends who wrote that her six-year-old daughter came home from school one day complaining that she was “fat.” Now, I had only just had lunch with my friend and her daughter over the holiday break and I can one-thousand percent testify to the fact that her daughter is most definitely not fat.  She is intelligent and creative, shy but inquisitive – in short, she’s pretty much a dream come true. But even if she was “fat”, would her “fatness” negate all of those things. Does being “fat” make you less intelligent? Less important? Less worthy of love? No, it doesn’t, but somewhere along the way, … [Read more...]

Plus Sized Shopping: Where are the clothes?

As the size of America's waistlines are increasing, places that sell plus sized clothes that you can actually see, feel and try on are dwindling. I'm in South Florida. It's hot here. I don't want to wear polyester mu-mus. Also, I am fat. I don't want to wear sparkly rhinestones, big bold patterns and too-sexy clothes that call attention to me.  Nor do I want to wear grandma's polyester clothes. I just want the same clothes that are in the regular stores, only bigger! I love Torrid jeans. But the closest Torrid is over an hour from us here, so I have to order online. When something doesn't fit though, I never deal with online returns. One of the local Forever 21 stores has a Plus sized … [Read more...]

Guest Post from Starla: Learning to Love Me

My Journey: Learning to Love Me   In the summer of 2003 I found myself moving again, a military transfer with three kids and a dog. Our first stop was my best friend’s house. She’d been on her own journey struggling with weight and had recently lost some.  She owned a few bathing suits she thought might fit me, so I tried them on.  What I hadn’t realized, until that moment, was that I hadn’t seen my body in a mirror, below my neck, in years.  But there I stood in a bathing suit, in front of the full length mirror, crying. I truly saw my weight, all 207 pounds of it. That was the height of it for me. This isn’t a story just about my weight though; it’s one discovery and learning … [Read more...]

Crash Diet or Lifestyle Change?

I'm good at crash dieting. If I can lose 20-30 pounds in a month I'm all over that shit. Unfortunately I usually make it for about 5 weeks, lost that 30 pounds, then stuff my face and gain it back plus 10 pounds for my trouble. I do this about once a year. Those extra 10 pounds a year for years makes for a very big girl. 19 years ago, I lost 43 pounds on Weight Watchers and kept most of it off for 2 years till I got pregnant. To lose that weight I was obsessive. And I ended up way too skinny to maintain. I worked out twice a day. I didn't have kids yet, so counting exchanges (the program back then was before points) was kind of fun. I liked the puzzle every day of how I would divide my … [Read more...]

Really and Truly….Starting on Monday

I got a treadmill for Christmas! It's been in my room, all set up since last Friday, over a week ago. I haven't used it yet. I was still on vacation. Not to mention the awful cold I've had. Today though, it's Monday. The first Monday of the New Year! New habits I'm adopting: (small changes!) WATER WATER WATER!!!!  I suck at drinking water. I need to set an alarm to make me drink! 15 minutes on the treadmill a day for now (let's not push it). No more Diet coke. Tracking on My Fitness Pal Wearing and using my fitbit daily (works with My Fitness Pal!) At least 3 servings of fruit and veggies a day (I currently have none). Cut cookies/sweet snacks down to weekends only. (OK, … [Read more...]