Vacation from Vacation

Getting back from vacation...that's when the shit hits the fan. Between catching up with missed work, laundry, 7,000 e-mails and more you wonder if it was worth it. In my case it was. But now... I am completely and totally wrecked. Exhausted. 2 weeks of non-stop action has me laid up. We went up north to drop my son off in New Jersey to rehearse for 3 days for a mini tour with shows in New York City, Philadelphia, and Gathering of the Vibes, a 3 day camping/music festival featuring members of the Grateful Dead and other amazing bands. Then we went back to New York City and Washington DC. I wear orthotics in my shoes, and forgot them and my sneakers at home. So not only did I walk more in … [Read more...]

Another Monday and I’m Eating Chocolate

Motivation? What motivation? I'm too busy to deal with the focus it takes to diet. Once again, the excuses are mounting. First, it was 3 weeks of non-stop up-all night prepping for Wicked Book GNO, then we were busy with the kids the next week, last week I didn't bother, because I knew I wouldn't stick to any diet. So once again, I'm paying for Weight Watchers and not going. Now I'm prepping to leave town for 2 weeks, following my teenage son on tour with the School of Rock Allstars, camping at a hippy festival (Gathering of the Vibes) then going to Washington DC for a few days of tourist fun. Honestly, right now I just don't give a fuck. I am what I am, and I don't have the time, … [Read more...]

Fitness Summer Bucket List-Guest Post by Emily

Fitness Summer Bucket List When you are into fitness there are great opportunities specific to each season. By altering your fitness plan from season to season, it is a great way to keep things interesting and not slack off. My summer “bucket list” may sound a little over-zealous, but each of these goals has different requirements to reach so it will certainly keep me motivated! First, I would love to complete a 5K in less than 20 minutes. While a 5K isn’t a distance run, it isn’t sprint either. It should be a combination of speed and distance. I like to be fit, but focusing on a running time has never been a focus of mine, so this is completely new to me. What is most important to me is … [Read more...]

No Photographs Please

When I am gone, my kids will have so few photos of me. I HATE myself in photos. I have a few good ones, but I avoid the camera like the plague. I have a GAZILLION photos and videos of my kids. Hard drives filled with them. With both kids being performers now, I have filmed EVERY performance, sometimes in triplicate. But me??? Out of the 30,000 photos in my iPhoto library from the past few years, I would say I'm in 25. Book Bash was last week. As I met the authors, they asked if I wanted to be in photos with them. I responded once, "It's not about me, it's about you guys", which is true. But really, I didn't want to ruin my one chance at a photo of my idols with my double chin. I know … [Read more...]

Rocker Mom

I'm a Rocker Mom. Literally. My 15 year old has been in a band since he was 12, and performed even before that. He has been going to School of Rock since he was 10. The program there is to teach classic rock to kids, and then after 3 months they put on a show at a live music venue. Usually bars. Smoky, bras-hanging from the ceiling, liquor lining the stage bars. He first asked for a guitar at 4. His pre-school music teacher had one, and he wanted one just like hers. He was hooked, and got an electric guitar from Santa a few months later. Now I have to tell you here, we have a HUGE collection of classic rock CDs. Both of my kids were named for Beatles. But neither my husband or … [Read more...]

The Dreaded Chub Rub

When your thighs rub and chafe, dresses are nearly impossible! I love dresses. They are cute, comfy, and hide a multitude of sins. In fact, I have a ton of trouble buying clothes. But this week I ordered 6 dresses online and they ALL fit, and looked OK! I live in Florida. It's hot as hell, and there is nothing as nice and cool as a summer dress, right? Yeah, right. That is, until you take about 10 steps and your sweaty thighs start to rub together. Then you take another 10 and the burn begins, 10 more steps and a gigantic rash erupts all over your thighs. Lovely. So much for summer dresses! And you don't have to be fat to experience this. I had it in high school. I was not fat by any … [Read more...]

I’ve Been So Lucky

I'm so lucky. I have some amazing dads in my life. I read, a lot. And so often I read about people with horrible childhoods. I thank my lucky stars I grew up with a great family and my daddy is my hero. I remember him working a lot of hours, but he was very successful, and the hours he put in were worth it. I knew that young. Still, he was home for a late dinner with his family almost every night. He never missed any events or plays. He is a phenomenal husband who loves my mom like crazy. And I'm scared shitless of losing him. As his 80's approach, however, I still don't see my parents as old. They still have a great love and a great life. They travel the country to be at all of their … [Read more...]

Monday Motivation: Guest post- Joanne, 150 pound loser!

Howdy from Florida everyone, Former, but forever, fat girl here. My name is Joanne and I lost 157 lbs., which took 3 years (it’s been 5 years since the start of this journey).…I have since gained 17 lbs. of it back, so I’m in panic mode…so I guess now I say I lost 140 lbs.….we all know how easy it is to gain and how quickly it can spiral out of control.  I’ve been working like a whore trying to lose it. It is not easy and it’s not working.  The older you get the harder it is.  I am going back to the start to try and get on track. Here’s what I did. 1)     Went to the doctor – you have to make sure the heart can handle what you are about to do to it 2)    I went to the nutritionist – … [Read more...]

Another Year Older, Another Year Fatter, Wiser, Happier.

I'm old. When did this happen? My husband is 8 years older than me, and he is in his 50s!!! FIFTIES!!!!!????? WTF? How did this happen??? When did this happen? In my mind, I'm still 21. I don't look it, I look silly acting like it, but I just can't understand how I tuned old. But I'm not old! There are people that are always old. You know those people? They could be you own age but they feel so much older. Then there are the ones that hit that mid-life crises and go crazy, and others that still look awesome, even better than high school, still act young and crazy, are cool parents, and have just settled into a happy groove. That's where I am in my life...settled into a happy groove. I am … [Read more...]

The Lies We Tell Ourselves

How often do you lie to yourself? Try to trick yourself? I can't tell you how often I step on and off then back on the scale hoping there would be a slightly different result. The other day, I forgot to wear my fitness monitor in the morning. Then had particularly vigorous sex. I was so mad that it didn't register! (What am I supposed to hook it to?) So what did I do? I stuck it in a ball of socks and ran the dryer. WTF? Who else was I tricking besides myself? I forgot about it for a bit, left in in too long and was so excited it had three lights already. Really. I did that, and somehow believed my own lie? How does that even happen? I lie to myself a lot. Like when I say I'll … [Read more...]

Motivation in my Pocket

I've mentioned my ActiveLink, right? I have got to tell you, this thing is awesome. After a week of seeing my current activity level (zero, zilch, nada), the Activelink program sets an achievable goal, to get you moving more. There are 6 lights on the active link. You need to light 4 to hit 100%. Once you light up the 4 lights, your lights do a little happy dance. I can't tell you how much I love those lights dancing! I have forgotten to put it on right away twice now, and let me tell you, I was scrambling at midnight to get those lights lit up! At first, I wished it came in black, like the fitbit, because I always wear black, and this thing is noticeable in the pocket of my shirt. … [Read more...]

My motivation is sucking

I'm working on staying motivated. I did some drinking Saturday Night, (rum and diet coke), ate pizza at a concert, and didn't count points all weekend. For Mother's Day we had my favorite, Japanese hibachi. Though it's just meat and veggies, I have no idea what else that stuff is cooked in. Monday I had a peanut butter meltdown (my weakness). You would think after last week of no loss, I would get back to trying really hard to lose weight. But it's not happening. My activelink is keeping me motivated though, and I'm committing to track every bite from today on. This is a commitment. I am going every week for 1 year minimum. I can do this, even if it's slow. Even if I have a bad day, or … [Read more...]

Super Nerd Princess Begins Her Journey

I have an unhealthy relationship with food. If this were Facebook, I’d click “It’s complicated.” I love food. I love its smell, its taste, its...ok I need to stop. Anyway, I took my kid to the park the other day and had the most brilliant idea to have my picture taken with him. Under normal circumstances, it wouldn’t be a big deal but when you’re so large you actually BLOCK THE SUN, it’s something to take into consideration. I came home and wept. Real tears. And then I ate. Why? Because food is comforting. I’m so big already, what’s the difference if I have 4 quarter pounders and a large fry? And maybe some of my son's small fry? I’m beyond help. After my self loathing concluded, I … [Read more...]

Does being an asshole make you a “cool kid”?

I'm sure by now you all know about the dickhead from Abercrombie & Fitch. “He doesn’t want larger people shopping in his store, he wants thin and beautiful people,” Lewis said. “He doesn’t want his core customers to see people who aren’t as hot as them wearing his clothing. People who wear his clothing should feel like they’re one of the ‘cool kids.’” See the article here. Funny, my kids (even my 7 year old) look at kids wearing Abercrombie and wonder if they realize it's NOT cool to wear a brand to try to BE cool. In this day and age, where bullying is getting worse and worse with all the electronic ways to bully, this asshole is just furthering the hate. As much as I'd … [Read more...]

I was a Baaaaaad Girl

I was a bit out of control with my eating this weekend. I would have been OK on Saturday if I didn't drink Saturday night. Then Sunday I went to see IronMan 3 and ate enough buttered movie theater popcorn to choke a cow. I tried to find points for the popcorn and couldn't. So sadly, I didn't even track on Sunday. But today is Monday. I'm back to being good. I'm assuming in my head that I used up my 49 points for the week and I started fresh today. Well, you know...it's Monday. I love how I can always start clean on a Monday. Thank goodness weigh-in isn't until Friday. … [Read more...]

What the Fuck is on My Face?

I'm not a kid anymore. I don't get zits often (luckily I never did), but a few times a year I get a big zit around my period. For the last few days, my upper lip has been bothering me, and today I woke up with this mambo, jumbo, three headed MONSTER on my lip!!! My whole face hurts, my mouth and mustache area are crooked, and if I could, I'd bury my head for a few days until it is gone. Or wear a sign that says "It's a zit, OK?" My 15 year old has acne. He doesn't give a crap. I do! And it hurts! It is so painful I can't fully squeeze it. Any suggestions? I was going to add a few of the zit popping videos on YouTube here, but honestly, I almost barfed up a lung when I watched one. So … [Read more...]

I’m excited!

I began this journey on Weight Watchers kind of reluctantly. Usually when I start a new diet I am so gung-ho, and all I want to do is find out HOW LONG it took everyone to lose the weight. Now I have no deadline. Just a commitment to go to meetings once per week. I don't want to be skinny. I just want to be a nice size 14. (My size 18 pants have been getting snug). I knew I had to do something. But this isn't all or nothing. Thank fuck, because I would have failed numerous times already, and given up. I love that I can eat anything, but this forces me to make the better choices. I'm still struggling with eating a lot of junk, but I am aware of what I'm eating because I have to write it … [Read more...]

Lessons From My First Week of Weight Watchers

A Dozen Thoughts About My First Week: 1: The first week of anything is easy and fun 2: I need the meetings. 3: Track Track Track, if you're not gonna track, don't bother. 4: You really can eat anything without guilt, but you may have to sacrifice other things to eat it (how many diets let you drink alcohol?) 5: The meeting leaders and staff do make a difference! When I walked in for my first weigh-in, the leader gave me a hug and asked how I did. She seemed genuinely excited to see me. The 3 women that work there are also about my age, and all have great success stories, and look phenomenal. My previous experiences had leaders that were all WAY older than me. 6: Even though I … [Read more...]

The Bra Fitting

I HATE bras. Hate them! The first chance I get I do the whip your bra off thing under my shirt. At any time, you may walk in my house and see a bra flung somewhere. So I look for comfort. But if I don't wear an underwire, my boobs look like a flat pool noodle is around me. I haven't been properly fitted for a bra since I put on 50 pounds. I was a 36 B, at my last fitting (that woman scarred me, she came into the dressing room and manhandled my boobies while stuffing me into a bra) and all I have done is increase the back size since. I am now a 40 B. Or so I thought. I have bought new bras lately that fit pretty well. So the other day, I popped in a store to get some clothes for the … [Read more...]

I got an ActiveLink!

I am about as sedentary as you get. I sit on my ass at the computer all day. If I'm not blogging, I'm reading. Having Lyme disease (or fibromyalgia--it's basically the same) makes motivation to move that much worse, because it hurts to move! But I can't sit around like a blob forever either. I picked up the weight watchers ActiveLink at my meeting last week. It measures your activities throughout the day with a full accelerometer. The you plug it into your computer and it assesses your day and awards you points! For me, it isn't really the points I was looking for, just some motivation. I am completely sedentary, and this monitors you throughout the day. First you wear it for 7 days … [Read more...]