Real Christmas Tree vs. Fake Tree?

Maybe because I didn't grow up with Christmas. Maybe it's because I like them huge, but to me it's a no-brainer. I love going and picking out a tree at the tree tents. It is stupidly stressful because if I'm spending between $150 and $200 on a tree, it better be fucking perfect. The asshats at Home Depot (which has the cheapest big trees by far) never know when they are getting new ones in, and don't even bother calling first, you can't get a person who knows anything. As I said, we like them BIG. 12 feet+ is hard to find! But once I get it in the house, I love the smell. I even love the sap and the needles. It's Christmas to me! I love the fact that my tree is different every year. I … [Read more...]

Celebrating the holidays as a mixed religion family

My kids are pizza bagels. Half Jewish and half Italian (Catholic), they are brought up with the traditions of both religions.  My husband was brought up to go into debt every Christmas and that Santa gets the kids everything on their list. Unfortunately, that traditions has continued here. (More on that tomorrow.) I have always loved Christmas. I'm Jewish, and was not brought up with a Hanukkah bush or anything like that. We had a menorah. Period. But my dad and I would go for a ride and look at the lights every year. I loved that. I must say though, I was jealous of all of the families with their sparkly decorations and always wanted that. I met my now-husband at Christmas. I went to … [Read more...]

Guest Post: Diet Cheating by Beth Waters

Diet Cheating We’ve all done it. We’ve all started a diet and before the first week is complete we give ourselves a reason to eat that piece of cake at the birthday party, or to get fries instead of a salad. Sure, that’s fine if you want to be on the downward spiral to weight gain, not weight loss. So since we all cheat while on diets, why do we do it? Little did you know, cheating on a diet is actually great for your diet. What!? Did I just say that? Yes, cheating on a diet is great for your diet when done correctly. Here’s why: Start with a lifestyle diet? To begin, we need to make sure we are on the same page about what a diet actually consists of. I’m not talking about a diet … [Read more...]

The Second Time is Never the Charm

Have you ever noticed that no matter how well you do on a diet, the second time on the same program is way harder? I have done well on several diets, Weight Watchers (years ago, before points), Smart for Life Cookie Diet, HCG.... but the second time I never last more that 3-4 weeks. In the beginning, it's new and exciting, and you are all hung-ho, buying every bit of crap they sell to help complete your goal. Emptying out your cabinets. Buying new workout gear and gadgets and memberships.  But when the newness wears off is when we fail (or at least I do). I have joined Weight Watchers at least 10 times since I initially hit my goal almost 20 years ago, but was never able to go past 5 … [Read more...]

She Deserves the Egging

I'm not advocating egging or toilet papering someone's house on Halloween, but if anyone deserves it, it's the bitch who hands out this note instead of candy, a toy, pretzels, or even nothing on Halloween. FUCK HER. It takes a village my ass. Butt out of Halloween, whore! Geez, it is one day a year, let the kids get their candy in a tradition that's been around since she was a kid. I bet she didn't even need to wear that witch costume. … [Read more...]

Actually Starting on Monday (Never Really Happens)

I have absolutely no motivation. This is ridiculous. I look in the mirror and I'm sickened about what I see, yet I don't do a damn thing about it! There is always a reason for me to "Start on Monday". I am by far the heaviest I've ever been. I gain weight preparing for a diet that never comes. So I decide to shove everything in my face like it's the last meal ever because I'm 'starting on Monday'. I just got back from vacation. I ate so much I actually feel my skin stretching. It doesn't matter that I walked a ton, I ate more.  I totally intended on being good this past Monday. Then I realized how many goodies I still had in the house. I had to get rid of them first, right? So as a … [Read more...]

When Your Teen is Smarter Than You

I'm not stupid. I graduated college with a 3.98. But that was a LONG time ago. All that knowledge has disappeared into a cloud of pot smoke. Seriously, when I substitute teach, I won't even teach 6th grade math. Ugh, math. I hated it then, I hate it even more now. I may know more about life than my son, but I have to admit, he knows more about a LOT of stuff compared to me. He is in 11th grade and taking 3 AP courses (he has already taken two) and is in all advanced classes. He is busy learning every day, while I'm reading dirty books and spending my day on Facebook and twitter. So yeah, at this point, the fucker is smarter than me, at least book wise. But there is the key word … [Read more...]