No Photographs Please

When I am gone, my kids will have so few photos of me. I HATE myself in photos. I have a few good ones, but I avoid the camera like the plague. I have a GAZILLION photos and videos of my kids. Hard drives filled with them. With both kids being performers now, I have filmed EVERY performance, sometimes in triplicate. But me??? Out of the 30,000 photos in my iPhoto library from the past few years, I would say I'm in 25. Book Bash was last week. As I met the authors, they asked if I wanted to be in photos with them. I responded once, "It's not about me, it's about you guys", which is true. But really, I didn't want to ruin my one chance at a photo of my idols with my double chin. I know … [Read more...]

Rocker Mom

I'm a Rocker Mom. Literally. My 15 year old has been in a band since he was 12, and performed even before that. He has been going to School of Rock since he was 10. The program there is to teach classic rock to kids, and then after 3 months they put on a show at a live music venue. Usually bars. Smoky, bras-hanging from the ceiling, liquor lining the stage bars. He first asked for a guitar at 4. His pre-school music teacher had one, and he wanted one just like hers. He was hooked, and got an electric guitar from Santa a few months later. Now I have to tell you here, we have a HUGE collection of classic rock CDs. Both of my kids were named for Beatles. But neither my husband or … [Read more...]

The Dreaded Chub Rub

When your thighs rub and chafe, dresses are nearly impossible! I love dresses. They are cute, comfy, and hide a multitude of sins. In fact, I have a ton of trouble buying clothes. But this week I ordered 6 dresses online and they ALL fit, and looked OK! I live in Florida. It's hot as hell, and there is nothing as nice and cool as a summer dress, right? Yeah, right. That is, until you take about 10 steps and your sweaty thighs start to rub together. Then you take another 10 and the burn begins, 10 more steps and a gigantic rash erupts all over your thighs. Lovely. So much for summer dresses! And you don't have to be fat to experience this. I had it in high school. I was not fat by any … [Read more...]

I’ve Been So Lucky

I'm so lucky. I have some amazing dads in my life. I read, a lot. And so often I read about people with horrible childhoods. I thank my lucky stars I grew up with a great family and my daddy is my hero. I remember him working a lot of hours, but he was very successful, and the hours he put in were worth it. I knew that young. Still, he was home for a late dinner with his family almost every night. He never missed any events or plays. He is a phenomenal husband who loves my mom like crazy. And I'm scared shitless of losing him. As his 80's approach, however, I still don't see my parents as old. They still have a great love and a great life. They travel the country to be at all of their … [Read more...]

Monday Motivation: Guest post- Joanne, 150 pound loser!

Howdy from Florida everyone, Former, but forever, fat girl here. My name is Joanne and I lost 157 lbs., which took 3 years (it’s been 5 years since the start of this journey).…I have since gained 17 lbs. of it back, so I’m in panic mode…so I guess now I say I lost 140 lbs.….we all know how easy it is to gain and how quickly it can spiral out of control.  I’ve been working like a whore trying to lose it. It is not easy and it’s not working.  The older you get the harder it is.  I am going back to the start to try and get on track. Here’s what I did. 1)     Went to the doctor – you have to make sure the heart can handle what you are about to do to it 2)    I went to the nutritionist – … [Read more...]

Another Year Older, Another Year Fatter, Wiser, Happier.

I'm old. When did this happen? My husband is 8 years older than me, and he is in his 50s!!! FIFTIES!!!!!????? WTF? How did this happen??? When did this happen? In my mind, I'm still 21. I don't look it, I look silly acting like it, but I just can't understand how I tuned old. But I'm not old! There are people that are always old. You know those people? They could be you own age but they feel so much older. Then there are the ones that hit that mid-life crises and go crazy, and others that still look awesome, even better than high school, still act young and crazy, are cool parents, and have just settled into a happy groove. That's where I am in my life...settled into a happy groove. I am … [Read more...]

The Lies We Tell Ourselves

How often do you lie to yourself? Try to trick yourself? I can't tell you how often I step on and off then back on the scale hoping there would be a slightly different result. The other day, I forgot to wear my fitness monitor in the morning. Then had particularly vigorous sex. I was so mad that it didn't register! (What am I supposed to hook it to?) So what did I do? I stuck it in a ball of socks and ran the dryer. WTF? Who else was I tricking besides myself? I forgot about it for a bit, left in in too long and was so excited it had three lights already. Really. I did that, and somehow believed my own lie? How does that even happen? I lie to myself a lot. Like when I say I'll … [Read more...]