Actually Starting on Monday (Never Really Happens)

I have absolutely no motivation. This is ridiculous. I look in the mirror and I'm sickened about what I see, yet I don't do a damn thing about it! There is always a reason for me to "Start on Monday". I am by far the heaviest I've ever been. I gain weight preparing for a diet that never comes. So I decide to shove everything in my face like it's the last meal ever because I'm 'starting on Monday'. I just got back from vacation. I ate so much I actually feel my skin stretching. It doesn't matter that I walked a ton, I ate more.  I totally intended on being good this past Monday. Then I realized how many goodies I still had in the house. I had to get rid of them first, right? So as a … [Read more...]

Guest Post: Dieting and Gas…WTF?

  <standing up> Hi. I’m Lisa and I love food. I’m also overweight-by a lot. I have dieted a bazillion times which means I have tried every one of those fucking things.  I’m what you call an Oprah. That’s right. My weight goes in and out and up and down like a bad accordion. One minute I’m thin, the next minute I’m bloated, can’t see my cankles, and I’ve grown a double back with a matching double chin.  My ass and stomach are the same in circumference and you can’t tell the difference front to back. . Almost every day I think, geez I REALLY need to diet again. I had my son 8 years ago. “Oh you’ll lose that baby weight”. You know what? I didn’t! In fact, I think I’m the same weight … [Read more...]

Weight Debate: Nature vs. Nurture

I have two boys. One is 16, 5'10.5" and 125 pounds soaking wet. The other is a third grader, born chubby, and still is. Now if you look at mom and dad, you see the difference as well. Dad is all muscle, without an ounce of fat. He has to try to stay at 150, but often dips below (fucker). Me...lets just say I weigh a lot more. My husband and oldest son LOVE junk food, and my teen eats it non-stop. My husband just forgets to eat. (WTF? Who forgets to eat?) My little guy is not a big eater. He eats regular portion sizes. But he loves his sweets. Mr. Ana and my little guy are also the pickiest eaters ever (Mr. Ana is ridiculous, he eats like 5 things), so finding healthier choices isn't … [Read more...]

Another Monday and I’m Eating Chocolate

Motivation? What motivation? I'm too busy to deal with the focus it takes to diet. Once again, the excuses are mounting. First, it was 3 weeks of non-stop up-all night prepping for Wicked Book GNO, then we were busy with the kids the next week, last week I didn't bother, because I knew I wouldn't stick to any diet. So once again, I'm paying for Weight Watchers and not going. Now I'm prepping to leave town for 2 weeks, following my teenage son on tour with the School of Rock Allstars, camping at a hippy festival (Gathering of the Vibes) then going to Washington DC for a few days of tourist fun. Honestly, right now I just don't give a fuck. I am what I am, and I don't have the time, … [Read more...]

Monday Motivation: Guest post- Joanne, 150 pound loser!

Howdy from Florida everyone, Former, but forever, fat girl here. My name is Joanne and I lost 157 lbs., which took 3 years (it’s been 5 years since the start of this journey).…I have since gained 17 lbs. of it back, so I’m in panic mode…so I guess now I say I lost 140 lbs.….we all know how easy it is to gain and how quickly it can spiral out of control.  I’ve been working like a whore trying to lose it. It is not easy and it’s not working.  The older you get the harder it is.  I am going back to the start to try and get on track. Here’s what I did. 1)     Went to the doctor – you have to make sure the heart can handle what you are about to do to it 2)    I went to the nutritionist – … [Read more...]

The Lies We Tell Ourselves

How often do you lie to yourself? Try to trick yourself? I can't tell you how often I step on and off then back on the scale hoping there would be a slightly different result. The other day, I forgot to wear my fitness monitor in the morning. Then had particularly vigorous sex. I was so mad that it didn't register! (What am I supposed to hook it to?) So what did I do? I stuck it in a ball of socks and ran the dryer. WTF? Who else was I tricking besides myself? I forgot about it for a bit, left in in too long and was so excited it had three lights already. Really. I did that, and somehow believed my own lie? How does that even happen? I lie to myself a lot. Like when I say I'll … [Read more...]

My motivation is sucking

I'm working on staying motivated. I did some drinking Saturday Night, (rum and diet coke), ate pizza at a concert, and didn't count points all weekend. For Mother's Day we had my favorite, Japanese hibachi. Though it's just meat and veggies, I have no idea what else that stuff is cooked in. Monday I had a peanut butter meltdown (my weakness). You would think after last week of no loss, I would get back to trying really hard to lose weight. But it's not happening. My activelink is keeping me motivated though, and I'm committing to track every bite from today on. This is a commitment. I am going every week for 1 year minimum. I can do this, even if it's slow. Even if I have a bad day, or … [Read more...]