No Photographs Please

When I am gone, my kids will have so few photos of me. I HATE myself in photos. I have a few good ones, but I avoid the camera like the plague. I have a GAZILLION photos and videos of my kids. Hard drives filled with them. With both kids being performers now, I have filmed EVERY performance, sometimes in triplicate. But me??? Out of the 30,000 photos in my iPhoto library from the past few years, I would say I'm in 25. Book Bash was last week. As I met the authors, they asked if I wanted to be in photos with them. I responded once, "It's not about me, it's about you guys", which is true. But really, I didn't want to ruin my one chance at a photo of my idols with my double chin. I know … [Read more...]

Rocker Mom

I'm a Rocker Mom. Literally. My 15 year old has been in a band since he was 12, and performed even before that. He has been going to School of Rock since he was 10. The program there is to teach classic rock to kids, and then after 3 months they put on a show at a live music venue. Usually bars. Smoky, bras-hanging from the ceiling, liquor lining the stage bars. He first asked for a guitar at 4. His pre-school music teacher had one, and he wanted one just like hers. He was hooked, and got an electric guitar from Santa a few months later. Now I have to tell you here, we have a HUGE collection of classic rock CDs. Both of my kids were named for Beatles. But neither my husband or … [Read more...]

I’ve Been So Lucky

I'm so lucky. I have some amazing dads in my life. I read, a lot. And so often I read about people with horrible childhoods. I thank my lucky stars I grew up with a great family and my daddy is my hero. I remember him working a lot of hours, but he was very successful, and the hours he put in were worth it. I knew that young. Still, he was home for a late dinner with his family almost every night. He never missed any events or plays. He is a phenomenal husband who loves my mom like crazy. And I'm scared shitless of losing him. As his 80's approach, however, I still don't see my parents as old. They still have a great love and a great life. They travel the country to be at all of their … [Read more...]

My Kids Played Hooky Today

Friday night my 15 year old had to decline an encore for his band because he was losing his voice and was on the verge of getting sick. Then yesterday he and my husband caught the little stomach bug I had last week (which of course did not result in any weight loss at all). Yesterday, my 7 year old also complained of a headache when his friend was here, then fell asleep before 7:00 pm. So this morning...this MONDAY morning...when the little one was saying he was "nauseated" and the big one saying he was sick, I didn't know. Are they full of shit? It's Monday after all, I used to do it too. But I've also not believed them in the past and then gotten a call from school that my kid … [Read more...]

Guest Blog by Kelly, 100 Pound Loser

Hi, my name is Kelly and I am a fat girl. . Well, I'm not fat anymore, I've lost 100 pounds but I can still say that because once a fat girl always a fat girl at heart! I love to eat, and I love to eat large quantities! In 2008 my husband took a photo of me from behind sitting at the kitchen table playing a game with our two boys. When I saw the photo I was devastated! My ass was hanging over the side of the seat and my back looked like a football player it was so broad! For some reason when I looked in the mirror every day I didn't see how fat I was! But seeing it from behind was another story! I weighed 231.5 pounds. I was a size 18 needing to go into a 20 and wore a size 40D bra! From … [Read more...]

On getting dressed……

I have been home with a sick kid for a week. A WEEK! Now my husband has the flu as well. Yay me. You know what that means? No nookie. No chauffeur. No guy to run out and get a few things. So yesterday, now that he is in bed, I finally had to run out and get a few things, and drive my healthy spawn around. I realized I hadn't left my house in 4 days. FOUR FUCKING DAYS! Which comfortably meant no bras for 4 days, no tight jeans for 4 days, no makeup for 4 days. That part was kind of nice. But I have to tell you, my house is a mess. WTF? I'm home, just on the computer from the minute I wake up till 3 am. I'm not sure what the hell I've been doing, but it sure as hell hasn't been personal … [Read more...]

How am I Old? I Still Think Like a Kid!

Recently I went away for Wicked Girls Book Weekend, and found myself at the older end of the spectrum. What? When the fuck did I get OLD? I mean I found myself hanging out with a few girls that have MOTHERS younger than me! WTF? I'm in my mid 40s. I have a second grader and a teenager, so they keep me kind of young. Most people tell me I look way younger, but really, who is going to say I look my age? I think that having the extra fat just puffs out my wrinkles. But I'm sure my fair skin and my avoidance of sun have helped. My husband is significantly older than me, I think he looks pretty hot too, despite the hair loss. I consider us the "younger" group of the people my age. There … [Read more...]