Plus Sized Shopping: Where are the clothes?

As the size of America's waistlines are increasing, places that sell plus sized clothes that you can actually see, feel and try on are dwindling. I'm in South Florida. It's hot here. I don't want to wear polyester mu-mus. Also, I am fat. I don't want to wear sparkly rhinestones, big bold patterns and too-sexy clothes that call attention to me.  Nor do I want to wear grandma's polyester clothes. I just want the same clothes that are in the regular stores, only bigger! I love Torrid jeans. But the closest Torrid is over an hour from us here, so I have to order online. When something doesn't fit though, I never deal with online returns. One of the local Forever 21 stores has a Plus sized … [Read more...]

Spanx to the rescue?

I'm not sure if it's Spanx to the rescue or I need a rescue from my Spanx! My kids were playing (they're in a band) at a safari themed fundraiser the other night. It was at a fancy golf and country club, so I knew I had to dress up. Sadly, I looked in my ridiculously-overfilled-with-clothes-I-don't-wear walk-in closet and I don't own one single thing with animal print. (90% of my closet is black, grey or purple) So I went with one of my standby black maxi dresses. It's been a while since I dressed up. I'm in Florida where it's still in the high 80s, but of course I had to wear a shrug to cover my fat arms. Now the question....what to wear underneath the dress? It covers a lot, but I had … [Read more...]

The Dreaded Chub Rub

When your thighs rub and chafe, dresses are nearly impossible! I love dresses. They are cute, comfy, and hide a multitude of sins. In fact, I have a ton of trouble buying clothes. But this week I ordered 6 dresses online and they ALL fit, and looked OK! I live in Florida. It's hot as hell, and there is nothing as nice and cool as a summer dress, right? Yeah, right. That is, until you take about 10 steps and your sweaty thighs start to rub together. Then you take another 10 and the burn begins, 10 more steps and a gigantic rash erupts all over your thighs. Lovely. So much for summer dresses! And you don't have to be fat to experience this. I had it in high school. I was not fat by any … [Read more...]

The Bra Fitting

I HATE bras. Hate them! The first chance I get I do the whip your bra off thing under my shirt. At any time, you may walk in my house and see a bra flung somewhere. So I look for comfort. But if I don't wear an underwire, my boobs look like a flat pool noodle is around me. I haven't been properly fitted for a bra since I put on 50 pounds. I was a 36 B, at my last fitting (that woman scarred me, she came into the dressing room and manhandled my boobies while stuffing me into a bra) and all I have done is increase the back size since. I am now a 40 B. Or so I thought. I have bought new bras lately that fit pretty well. So the other day, I popped in a store to get some clothes for the … [Read more...]

Adding some color to my wardrobe….or not

The other day I had an acquaintance tell me she thought she saw me someplace. When I told her it wasn't me she said, "I guess it just looked that way from behind because you always wear a black t-shirt and dark jeans." She is right. At last count (and I'm sure I missed a few) I had 19 of the SAME shirt, motto mention the 100 other black shirts I have bought but rarely wear because they have either gotten shorter or hug my muffin top too much. It is the plus sized boyfriend shirt from Target (see photo). Tissue weight, long and boxy, they don't show anything I don't want them to. I always layer long necklaces and long cardigans or vests, but I literally wear a fresh one every day. As … [Read more...]

Plus Sized Shopping

I fucking hate shopping for clothes, though I still do it way too often. I have to get a new outfit every time I go away. Something new to wear makes me feel a little better about myself. The problem? There are so few places to go and try stuff on for plus sized girls. We have Macy's plus, which is OK if you can dig through the old lady clothes and the way-too young for me clothes. We have one Lane Bryant around here, but they are out of 18s in almost everything all the time. We had 2 Avenues, but one closed, leaving the crappy one with really nasty salespeople. Target has some cute stuff once in a while. That's it. There is no other place within 30 minutes to shop for cute plus-sized … [Read more...]

On getting dressed……

I have been home with a sick kid for a week. A WEEK! Now my husband has the flu as well. Yay me. You know what that means? No nookie. No chauffeur. No guy to run out and get a few things. So yesterday, now that he is in bed, I finally had to run out and get a few things, and drive my healthy spawn around. I realized I hadn't left my house in 4 days. FOUR FUCKING DAYS! Which comfortably meant no bras for 4 days, no tight jeans for 4 days, no makeup for 4 days. That part was kind of nice. But I have to tell you, my house is a mess. WTF? I'm home, just on the computer from the minute I wake up till 3 am. I'm not sure what the hell I've been doing, but it sure as hell hasn't been personal … [Read more...]

Spanx You Very Much!

Yesterday I had a funny post on the facebook page for this blog. Kari said  "So, I've decided that getting into Spanx right after a shower should count towards my daily workout. :)" It got me thinking about some of the Spanx incidents in my life. After I had my first C-section and had to go back to work every day, I purchased some high waisted granny-panty control-type thingies. I wore them every day over my underwear. Then one day I stopped wearing them. I live in Florida. I was in sales, and it's really fucking hot to wear a non-breathable nylon tourniquet thingy. Plus, they started to roll down and I would be pulling up these things all the time. Since I became heavy, I stopped … [Read more...]

Horizontal Stripes. Yay or Nay?

I was going through my mail today and came across the newest Lane Bryant catalog. I shop there a lot, even though I have some trouble fitting into their clothes correctly (my boobs are too small, but the rest of me fits fine). More than 50% of the catalog had horizontal stripes. I don't know about you, but I was brought up thinking horizontal stripes are a major no-no for anyone with a few pounds to lose. But this summer, I figured, since they are all the rage, I will buy some. I bought a pretty striped shirt, then I saw a photo of myself in it. Granted, I hate most photos of myself, but this one was worse. WAY WORSE. I never wore the shirt again. Obviously people are buying these … [Read more...]