Guest Post – Angelisa Stone

I wrote a children’s book. Not to make money. Not to get rich and famous. Not to win any awards. I did it to simply carry on a tradition that my mother started with us when we were children. I wanted more people to share in the joy of what we’ve always done, The Wishing Santa. My daughter is five-years-old. For a treat for all of her classmates in her kindergarten class, I went in and read them the book. They liked it. One boy picked his nose. Another girl stood up and showed me how her dress swirled out. Emersyn, my daughter, said the words aloud with me—she’s heard it quite a few times. But when their teacher told them that I was the writer and creator of the book, you would have thought I … [Read more...]

Tuesday Check-in 1-19-16 A Waffley Week

Yesterday was a holiday, and calories never count on holidays, right? Well that's my story and I'm sticking to it! In fact, it was a holiday weekend! My 18 year old son and his girlfriend came home this weekend for a music festival and two shows. My son is a singer/guitar player, so I spend a lot of time in bars eating bar food and running up tabs so he gets invited back (lame excuse, but I'm sticking to it!). It was a cool weekend because he had some really famous musicians come and sit in with him. Even Gregg Allman came and played at a show my son did with Gregg's son. (Unfortunately, my son wasn't on those two songs, but it's still cool). And, you know, festivals mean food truck food. … [Read more...]

We Are Who We Are Guest Post by Melissa Collins

Guest post from Author Melissa Collins: I recently saw a Facebook post from one of my long-time friends who wrote that her six-year-old daughter came home from school one day complaining that she was “fat.” Now, I had only just had lunch with my friend and her daughter over the holiday break and I can one-thousand percent testify to the fact that her daughter is most definitely not fat.  She is intelligent and creative, shy but inquisitive – in short, she’s pretty much a dream come true. But even if she was “fat”, would her “fatness” negate all of those things. Does being “fat” make you less intelligent? Less important? Less worthy of love? No, it doesn’t, but somewhere along the way, … [Read more...]

Going Overboard for the Holidays

My husband grew up going overboard for the holidays. His parents would go broke and into debt for Christmas, and my guy is no different. I LOVE Christmas. Since I'm Jewish, I didn't grow up with it, so I tend to overcompensate now. My 12 foot tree, and a house filled with decorations are one part, be we also tend to go crazy with gifts. I say we, but it's not really we. It's HIM. 12 foot tree not withstanding, I tend to be the more practical one. It's how I was raised. My husband is so careful with money, but at Christmas, all bets are off. As the kids get older, they want more expensive items. But because we want them to have lots of surprises to open, we tend to get a little too much … [Read more...]

She Deserves the Egging

I'm not advocating egging or toilet papering someone's house on Halloween, but if anyone deserves it, it's the bitch who hands out this note instead of candy, a toy, pretzels, or even nothing on Halloween. FUCK HER. It takes a village my ass. Butt out of Halloween, whore! Geez, it is one day a year, let the kids get their candy in a tradition that's been around since she was a kid. I bet she didn't even need to wear that witch costume. … [Read more...]

When Your Teen is Smarter Than You

I'm not stupid. I graduated college with a 3.98. But that was a LONG time ago. All that knowledge has disappeared into a cloud of pot smoke. Seriously, when I substitute teach, I won't even teach 6th grade math. Ugh, math. I hated it then, I hate it even more now. I may know more about life than my son, but I have to admit, he knows more about a LOT of stuff compared to me. He is in 11th grade and taking 3 AP courses (he has already taken two) and is in all advanced classes. He is busy learning every day, while I'm reading dirty books and spending my day on Facebook and twitter. So yeah, at this point, the fucker is smarter than me, at least book wise. But there is the key word … [Read more...]

Spanx to the rescue?

I'm not sure if it's Spanx to the rescue or I need a rescue from my Spanx! My kids were playing (they're in a band) at a safari themed fundraiser the other night. It was at a fancy golf and country club, so I knew I had to dress up. Sadly, I looked in my ridiculously-overfilled-with-clothes-I-don't-wear walk-in closet and I don't own one single thing with animal print. (90% of my closet is black, grey or purple) So I went with one of my standby black maxi dresses. It's been a while since I dressed up. I'm in Florida where it's still in the high 80s, but of course I had to wear a shrug to cover my fat arms. Now the question....what to wear underneath the dress? It covers a lot, but I had … [Read more...]

The Fucking C-Section Shelf Pooch

It's all their faults, the fuckers. 2 C-sections. Now I have this THING. Granted, I'm on the fat side. But it's so concentrated in my lower belly above my scar it's strange looking! (That is NOT my belly...mine is bigger) What is this gigantic thing hanging from my body? Before kids I had a butt, but my waist was ridiculously small and I had no tummy. My mom used to have to take in my jeans at the waist. My whole family has big butts and small waists and chests. Then I got pregnant and gained 65 points with my first kid (I actually came out of the hospital weighing more than when I went in to give birth and never took a pound off). Every pound was in my stomach. For years, people … [Read more...]

Weight Debate: Nature vs. Nurture

I have two boys. One is 16, 5'10.5" and 125 pounds soaking wet. The other is a third grader, born chubby, and still is. Now if you look at mom and dad, you see the difference as well. Dad is all muscle, without an ounce of fat. He has to try to stay at 150, but often dips below (fucker). Me...lets just say I weigh a lot more. My husband and oldest son LOVE junk food, and my teen eats it non-stop. My husband just forgets to eat. (WTF? Who forgets to eat?) My little guy is not a big eater. He eats regular portion sizes. But he loves his sweets. Mr. Ana and my little guy are also the pickiest eaters ever (Mr. Ana is ridiculous, he eats like 5 things), so finding healthier choices isn't … [Read more...]

WTF happened to Summer?

I had such plans....I was going to do so much with the kids this summer since they only had 4 weeks of camp and 2 weeks away. That left 4 whole weeks of NOTHING. Museums, zoos, water parks, movies, the trampoline place....all the places I planned on taking them, and....didn't. At first, I was so busy planning for Wicked Book GNO, then I was getting ready for our trip, then I was catching up from our trip and planning the next Wicked Book Weekend. Nobody is complaining, but I totally feel like a crap mom. At least we shoved so much into the 2 weeks and the kids had the time of their lives, that they are completely happy. Through all of this, I have been so busy I never even went food … [Read more...]