The Fucking C-Section Shelf Pooch

It's all their faults, the fuckers. 2 C-sections. Now I have this THING. Granted, I'm on the fat side. But it's so concentrated in my lower belly above my scar it's strange looking! (That is NOT my belly...mine is bigger) What is this gigantic thing hanging from my body? Before kids I had a butt, but my waist was ridiculously small and I had no tummy. My mom used to have to take in my jeans at the waist. My whole family has big butts and small waists and chests. Then I got pregnant and gained 65 points with my first kid (I actually came out of the hospital weighing more than when I went in to give birth and never took a pound off). Every pound was in my stomach. For years, people … [Read more...]

Weight Debate: Nature vs. Nurture

I have two boys. One is 16, 5'10.5" and 125 pounds soaking wet. The other is a third grader, born chubby, and still is. Now if you look at mom and dad, you see the difference as well. Dad is all muscle, without an ounce of fat. He has to try to stay at 150, but often dips below (fucker). Me...lets just say I weigh a lot more. My husband and oldest son LOVE junk food, and my teen eats it non-stop. My husband just forgets to eat. (WTF? Who forgets to eat?) My little guy is not a big eater. He eats regular portion sizes. But he loves his sweets. Mr. Ana and my little guy are also the pickiest eaters ever (Mr. Ana is ridiculous, he eats like 5 things), so finding healthier choices isn't … [Read more...]

WTF happened to Summer?

I had such plans....I was going to do so much with the kids this summer since they only had 4 weeks of camp and 2 weeks away. That left 4 whole weeks of NOTHING. Museums, zoos, water parks, movies, the trampoline place....all the places I planned on taking them, and....didn't. At first, I was so busy planning for Wicked Book GNO, then I was getting ready for our trip, then I was catching up from our trip and planning the next Wicked Book Weekend. Nobody is complaining, but I totally feel like a crap mom. At least we shoved so much into the 2 weeks and the kids had the time of their lives, that they are completely happy. Through all of this, I have been so busy I never even went food … [Read more...]

Rocker Mom

I'm a Rocker Mom. Literally. My 15 year old has been in a band since he was 12, and performed even before that. He has been going to School of Rock since he was 10. The program there is to teach classic rock to kids, and then after 3 months they put on a show at a live music venue. Usually bars. Smoky, bras-hanging from the ceiling, liquor lining the stage bars. He first asked for a guitar at 4. His pre-school music teacher had one, and he wanted one just like hers. He was hooked, and got an electric guitar from Santa a few months later. Now I have to tell you here, we have a HUGE collection of classic rock CDs. Both of my kids were named for Beatles. But neither my husband or … [Read more...]

I’ve Been So Lucky

I'm so lucky. I have some amazing dads in my life. I read, a lot. And so often I read about people with horrible childhoods. I thank my lucky stars I grew up with a great family and my daddy is my hero. I remember him working a lot of hours, but he was very successful, and the hours he put in were worth it. I knew that young. Still, he was home for a late dinner with his family almost every night. He never missed any events or plays. He is a phenomenal husband who loves my mom like crazy. And I'm scared shitless of losing him. As his 80's approach, however, I still don't see my parents as old. They still have a great love and a great life. They travel the country to be at all of their … [Read more...]

My Kids Played Hooky Today

Friday night my 15 year old had to decline an encore for his band because he was losing his voice and was on the verge of getting sick. Then yesterday he and my husband caught the little stomach bug I had last week (which of course did not result in any weight loss at all). Yesterday, my 7 year old also complained of a headache when his friend was here, then fell asleep before 7:00 pm. So this morning...this MONDAY morning...when the little one was saying he was "nauseated" and the big one saying he was sick, I didn't know. Are they full of shit? It's Monday after all, I used to do it too. But I've also not believed them in the past and then gotten a call from school that my kid … [Read more...]

Spring Break is for Kids not Parents

Oh Joy. The kids are out of school for a week. It's day one and I'm already exhausted and my ears hurt. Let me tell you why. I currently have eldest spawn one in the garage playing guitar. My computer is on the other side of the garage wall. He is an fucktastic guitar player, but he is incapable of playing at a normal decibel, so my walls are shaking. It's not horrible when he is playing his regular music (thank God, he plays classic rock, so I love his taste), but the vibrations that run through my house as he plays are a little crazy. Right now, he is playing with effects pedals, so it sounds like I have whale song throughout my house. From the other direction is my youngest spawn … [Read more...]