Spanx to the rescue?

I'm not sure if it's Spanx to the rescue or I need a rescue from my Spanx! My kids were playing (they're in a band) at a safari themed fundraiser the other night. It was at a fancy golf and country club, so I knew I had to dress up. Sadly, I looked in my ridiculously-overfilled-with-clothes-I-don't-wear walk-in closet and I don't own one single thing with animal print. (90% of my closet is black, grey or purple) So I went with one of my standby black maxi dresses. It's been a while since I dressed up. I'm in Florida where it's still in the high 80s, but of course I had to wear a shrug to cover my fat arms. Now the question....what to wear underneath the dress? It covers a lot, but I had … [Read more...]

The Dreaded Chub Rub

When your thighs rub and chafe, dresses are nearly impossible! I love dresses. They are cute, comfy, and hide a multitude of sins. In fact, I have a ton of trouble buying clothes. But this week I ordered 6 dresses online and they ALL fit, and looked OK! I live in Florida. It's hot as hell, and there is nothing as nice and cool as a summer dress, right? Yeah, right. That is, until you take about 10 steps and your sweaty thighs start to rub together. Then you take another 10 and the burn begins, 10 more steps and a gigantic rash erupts all over your thighs. Lovely. So much for summer dresses! And you don't have to be fat to experience this. I had it in high school. I was not fat by any … [Read more...]

The Bra Fitting

I HATE bras. Hate them! The first chance I get I do the whip your bra off thing under my shirt. At any time, you may walk in my house and see a bra flung somewhere. So I look for comfort. But if I don't wear an underwire, my boobs look like a flat pool noodle is around me. I haven't been properly fitted for a bra since I put on 50 pounds. I was a 36 B, at my last fitting (that woman scarred me, she came into the dressing room and manhandled my boobies while stuffing me into a bra) and all I have done is increase the back size since. I am now a 40 B. Or so I thought. I have bought new bras lately that fit pretty well. So the other day, I popped in a store to get some clothes for the … [Read more...]

Spanx You Very Much!

Yesterday I had a funny post on the facebook page for this blog. Kari said  "So, I've decided that getting into Spanx right after a shower should count towards my daily workout. :)" It got me thinking about some of the Spanx incidents in my life. After I had my first C-section and had to go back to work every day, I purchased some high waisted granny-panty control-type thingies. I wore them every day over my underwear. Then one day I stopped wearing them. I live in Florida. I was in sales, and it's really fucking hot to wear a non-breathable nylon tourniquet thingy. Plus, they started to roll down and I would be pulling up these things all the time. Since I became heavy, I stopped … [Read more...]