Monday Check-in 1-25-16

I can't believe how bad my willpower is! I NEED to get off sugar, but I love it so much. I need my fix! I swear it's harder than when I quit smoking. But I guess cutting back is better than going as I was, right? So I lost 1.2 pounds this week. I didn't deserve to. I didn't exercise. I hardly watched what I ate, but I did make a few healthier decisions. Just not enough. I never get past lunch in my tracking on My Fitness Pal. Last week was rainy and cold and I was too busy to exercise. BULLSHIT. I read 3 books. I could have read them on the treadmill. I was at the computer so much last week, that my hips started to hurt when I got up. Too much of the same position. I didn't even … [Read more...]

Tuesday Check-in 1-19-16 A Waffley Week

Yesterday was a holiday, and calories never count on holidays, right? Well that's my story and I'm sticking to it! In fact, it was a holiday weekend! My 18 year old son and his girlfriend came home this weekend for a music festival and two shows. My son is a singer/guitar player, so I spend a lot of time in bars eating bar food and running up tabs so he gets invited back (lame excuse, but I'm sticking to it!). It was a cool weekend because he had some really famous musicians come and sit in with him. Even Gregg Allman came and played at a show my son did with Gregg's son. (Unfortunately, my son wasn't on those two songs, but it's still cool). And, you know, festivals mean food truck food. … [Read more...]

Happy 2016!

It has been a LONG time since I have been active here! But with the first Monday of 2015, I am ready to begin this journey again. I'm actually still about 5 lbs less than when I last tracked in February 2015, thank goodness. I have been scared to weigh myself for the last 10 weeks. Today I bit the bullet and went for it. If I can't be accountable to myself at least, I will never get anywhere. 2015 was a great year and a really bad year. My son (who is now 18) was playing in a band about 4 nights a week at various bars and restaurants. There was lots of drinking, and eating out as well as other indulgences. It was amazing to see my son play with a band that has been around for 25 years and … [Read more...]

I Hate My Body

It’s not cool. It’s not new. It’s not politically correct. And it can’t be overcome by just saying “stop!” I hate my body so much it affects every aspect of my life. I'm not "curvy", I'm fat. I can't embrace my "curves". When I was curvy (and I was--I had an hourglass figure before kids, now I am an apple) I did embrace it. Sure, I had a big butt, and some mean girls would let me know, but the guys liked it. I wasn't one of those girls like my son's ex who talks about how much she hates herself while she has pictures in a bikini all over Facebook. I always had a bit of a struggle with my weight, but as I've gotten older, weight won...and I have basically given up. Otherwise, I love my … [Read more...]

Guest Post from Starla: Learning to Love Me

My Journey: Learning to Love Me   In the summer of 2003 I found myself moving again, a military transfer with three kids and a dog. Our first stop was my best friend’s house. She’d been on her own journey struggling with weight and had recently lost some.  She owned a few bathing suits she thought might fit me, so I tried them on.  What I hadn’t realized, until that moment, was that I hadn’t seen my body in a mirror, below my neck, in years.  But there I stood in a bathing suit, in front of the full length mirror, crying. I truly saw my weight, all 207 pounds of it. That was the height of it for me. This isn’t a story just about my weight though; it’s one discovery and learning … [Read more...]

Crash Diet or Lifestyle Change?

I'm good at crash dieting. If I can lose 20-30 pounds in a month I'm all over that shit. Unfortunately I usually make it for about 5 weeks, lost that 30 pounds, then stuff my face and gain it back plus 10 pounds for my trouble. I do this about once a year. Those extra 10 pounds a year for years makes for a very big girl. 19 years ago, I lost 43 pounds on Weight Watchers and kept most of it off for 2 years till I got pregnant. To lose that weight I was obsessive. And I ended up way too skinny to maintain. I worked out twice a day. I didn't have kids yet, so counting exchanges (the program back then was before points) was kind of fun. I liked the puzzle every day of how I would divide my … [Read more...]

Really and Truly….Starting on Monday

I got a treadmill for Christmas! It's been in my room, all set up since last Friday, over a week ago. I haven't used it yet. I was still on vacation. Not to mention the awful cold I've had. Today though, it's Monday. The first Monday of the New Year! New habits I'm adopting: (small changes!) WATER WATER WATER!!!!  I suck at drinking water. I need to set an alarm to make me drink! 15 minutes on the treadmill a day for now (let's not push it). No more Diet coke. Tracking on My Fitness Pal Wearing and using my fitbit daily (works with My Fitness Pal!) At least 3 servings of fruit and veggies a day (I currently have none). Cut cookies/sweet snacks down to weekends only. (OK, … [Read more...]