I went to the first wedding of the next generation this past weekend. As many of you know, my 27-year-old son is a musician in Nashville. He was the first student at any School of Rock in Florida 17 years ago, at 10 years old. The owner’s son was just a little older and the kids became good friends, forming their first band at 11 years old. My son was the guitar player, and Jared was the drummer. They were in that band together through all of high school, performing at some huge events. Even in college, though they were in two different states, the kids would reunite to play festivals and fundraisers.
Jared is now a lawyer and this weekend was his wedding. Both of my kids and their girlfriends flew in for it, and my older son was a groomsman. To be honest, I was very surprised by the invite for myself and my other son and girlfriend, and it was the first time I ever went to an event like that stag. I was the DD for my kids! I was thrilled that Jared, his brothers, my son and a few other friends played a few songs for us and it was a lovely wedding.
But it was awkward for me! I didn’t want to be tagging after my kids, who were also enjoying their first wedding as couples (or at all), and I barely knew anyone there. I think it was the first time I really felt the absence of a partner in the 5 years since I’ve been divorced, and it has me rethinking the dating thing. My sister convinced me to join Match last month, but I never matched with anyone (if they don’t have proper grammar in their dating profile, I just can’t…). But now I am being a little less picky. Maybe it’s time to see what’s out there (or who).
But that isn’t the point of this post. The point is…my son’s buddies are getting hitched! My son and his girlfriend are looking at engagement rings! My kids are pretty independent but I think we are still very close, and I thank goodness that I love his girlfriend. With her southern sweetness, I am afraid that I am too crude for her, but obviously not enough for her to leave my son. I will be thrilled to have her as my daughter-in-law! They have been together for over 6.5 years, and live together, so it’s not unexpected, it’s just… wasn’t he my little boy yesterday? Isn’t he STILL my little boy?
My sister’s kids are all getting engaged too. My kids are the youngest in the family, so we will be seeing quite a few weddings over the next few years. My 19-year-old has been with his girlfriend since 10th grade. I love her and have no issue if he marries her, but of course, I do worry about him marrying the only girl he ever dated, and I worry it will hold him (and her) back from doing what he should for his future as it did for me. I regret never studying abroad because I didn’t want to leave my boyfriend. I hope my youngest doesn’t pass up opportunities because he doesn’t want to leave her, but it’s not my place to say anymore.
So here I am, entering a new phase in life. The phase of my babies marrying off and having babies of their own (hopefully not too soon, I am not ready to be a grandma yet!). Maybe it’s time for me to work harder in finding my own life that doesn’t revolve as much around my kids.
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