Woohoo for the Gynecologist! I’ve had enough issues over the years, that the gyno I have been going to for 9-10 years has a folder as thick as my head. The three times I tried to get pregnant, I got pregnant immediately (though one didn’t make it). I had my last child at 38, and while I was on the table getting my second C-section, the Dr. asks me “Do ?you want me to tie your tubes while I’m in there?” Silly me was thinking…”God forbid something happens to either of my kids, I may want another” even though I knew I was done.
But when you are lying on an operating table with your guts hanging in the breeze, it’s not the best time to make a life-changing decision like that. So here I am almost 8 years later, still dealing with worrying about getting pregnant.
I HATE condoms. My husband takes forever with them, and right at the best time, he stops to check that it hasn’t come off (we’ve had that issue ladies, and believe me, it’s not fun and it’s not a size problem.) But he is a big chicken! We’ve been together 26 years, I think he has gone to the Doctor twice. The idea of someone getting near his dick with a knife makes his face go white and I think he gets a bit dizzy. (Manly man, right?)
Because I have Lyme disease and other issues, I cannot be on any hormonal birth control. We’ve always taken a small chance at the
right?wrong time of month, but in the last 6 months, my periods have gotten irregular. So I’m going in for an ablation and finally getting those fuckers tied. My sex life is GOOOOOD. No condoms, no periods and not worrying every month will make it GREEEAAAATTTT.
Besides…you don’t want me to write a blog about the next time I lose a condom in my vajayjay do you?
So we went for a pre-test yesterday. They had to get a sample of my endometrial lining with no anesthesia. So my big bad husband (he’s not really big, but he acts it, and he is all muscle) is there being my rock and my comfort. All I have to do is look at his eyes and I’m lost. Until they weren’t able to reach my freakin cervix! Apparently my vagina is super long! (Thank god, because so is my husband) So the Doctor tried and tried to reach it, and it fucking hurt! The color was draining from my husband’s face as I yelped a couple of times, and he was done. The nurse had to get the smelling salts….FOR HIM!!!!
Well, I guess all the scar tissue is pulling my cervix out of the Doctor’s reach, so I have to go into the hospital under anesthesia an “git-r-done”. But this time, I think I’ll leave my husband home.