1. “You have such a pretty face, if only…”
What, if only I lost weight? I struggle sometimes to not place my self-worth solely on my outside. Most women do. If someone’s pretty, weight shouldn’t change that. We all have beauty and worth that have nothing to do with looks.
2. “It’s not that hard, just eat less and exercise more”
Really? Wow, that never occurred to me. I know all about nutrition. And exercise. But if it were that easy, we would all be thin. But it’s not. It’s motivation. It’s willpower. It’s support. These aren’t excuses, they’re my struggles. I’m not dense. I’m thick.
3. “Don’t you want to be thin?”
No, I want to be a healthy weight. I want to be thinner, but not ‘thin’. I will never be a size two. It’s not in my genetic makeup. I have boobs, hips and ass. That will never go away, no matter if I’m thin or not. And I don’t want them to. Hollywood standards are not my standards. Neither are society’s. I know what MY healthy weight is. And when I get there, it will be good enough for ME.
The bottom line is, yes, I want to be a healthier weight. For me. Support me, don’t give me backhanded compliments. Don’t make assumptions. Don’t devalue my worth based on the outside. I have my own struggles some days, but I never stop looking within. I like my eyes, because I see my mom and son in them. I like my thick calves, because they were strong enough to carry my son. I like my hair, because soon it will be long enough to make some little one feel ‘normal’ again. I like my nose, because it reminds me of my great grandmother and our heritage. But mostly, I like my heart. It’s kind. It’s compassionate. It’s helpful. And it’s able to hold and give a lot of love. THAT is what I base my self-worth on.
Kerry is a 41 year old ?thick chick?. She joined the ?thick chick? club in the 80?s after spending a summer with her Polish great-grandmother, who singlehandedly kept the ice cream man and Sara Lee in business. The love of her life is her 18 year old son, who will hopefully be flying the coop soon. Kerry is currently on sabbatical. And by sabbatical, she means unemployed. Being a lady of leisure affords her the time to research and create healthy meals and spend more time in the gym.? But, you?re more likely to find her watching reruns, reading and wasting time on Twitter. You can follow her on Twitter @kaydee1106. But don?t expect too much.
Do you have more to add to this list? Like, “Oh they’re just jealous”–I hate that one. Speak up here!
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