The hotel check-in notification popped up on my phone then it hit me. My eyes watered, and soon I was full-on crying.
It’s only Wednesday. My son doesn’t move to the dorm until Friday, but I guess I’m pregaming. He and his father leave tomorrow and stay in a hotel. I’m staying with the pets, leaving early Friday, and meeting them at the dorm. It’s our last night under the same roof.
I still have phantom anxiety that my ex-husband is waiting in bed for me, annoyed that I’m still up and blogging. I can’t imagine what it will be like not thinking there is someone upstairs or that he would walk downstairs any moment.
I can’t imagine shopping for one. Or stopping at Target and not texting “Do you need anything?”. Luckily I have my cat and dog, but sadly they don’t talk back to me.
It’s not just my son I’ll miss, but his girlfriend and friends as well. They hang out with me often and I like his friend group. They also keep me looking human and give me a good reason to keep my house clean. His dad also came over almost every weekend, and we hung out and watched shows together (even if our son went out for a while). But now there will be no reason to come by.
I’m a little worried I’ll become an old hermit lady who only talks to her pets. Or maybe this is my chance to change things up. I don’t have my growing boy as an excuse to buy junk food, so my eating should improve. I can’t worry that he will walk in while I’m doing a dance workout and film me because he is 5 hours away. So I have no excuse not to get healthier. Maybe it’s time to focus on myself for a change.
But I will be mourning my life as a full-time mom for a while.
I’m Ana. I’ve been blogging about books at Ana’s Attic Book Blog for 11 years and I started this site because basically “I’ll start Monday” is my mantra. I’m in my mid-fifties, recently divorced, with two boys, one who is still at home. I’m great at starting diets…for a few weeks, but the weight always comes back and brings friends. My recent remodel has sparked a love of interior design and I love to help others with their homes.