They love you. They care about you. They want you to be happy. They want you to be healthy. So they remind you all the time how big you are and ways you can change it. Or they tell you what to eat, or scold you when you eat. Or they hear about a new diet and call to tell you about it….daily. Or they just say something stupid, like “why don’t you just eat less”.
My parents are AWESOME. They have been great parents my whole life. But they are perfect. My sisters are perfect too. Then there is me. I don’t fit into the perfect mold. They don’t get it. How come I’m not a size 6? What did they do wrong? THEY exercised and kept active their whole life. They watch what they eat (well, actually, my mother just smacks shit out of my father’s hand), and they never had a problem.
I am close with my parents. Close enough that if I skip 2 days talking to them, I get guilt.
But every single conversation ends up with diet talk. “How’s the diet?” is the number one question. “Great mom, I just ate a krispy kreme and two slices of pizza” is not the answer she wants. Lately the calls have been…”I saw on Dr. Oz this morning a new breakthrough…..google it, see if you can find it.” Dr. Oz seems to find a miracle daily, and my mom sees every one of those shows.
So I get off the phone, and I feel guilty for being a failure. I feel pressured into trying something new that I’m not ready for, and I feel scolded, even though she isn’t really scolding me. Just “suggesting”.
Sometimes the suggestions become a little more. Back in November, I got a call from my sister. She had started a new weight loss program (she is like 130 pounds) because she was disgusted with herself. That’s fine, she was her heaviest ever, so she decided to fix it–she had about 20 pounds to lose. Good for her for not letting it get out of control. But she took it a step further by finding a center near me and having my parents deposit the money in my account so I’d have no excuse…then gave me the line that she needed a buddy to do it with. I was not in the mindset to diet, and I cried when I got off the phone, feeling so pressured. I went to the place, and they had to get approval from my Dr. first….they were supposed to take care of that and call me. They never called back and all I felt was relief.
The motivation has to come from within. Nobody else can give it to you. All of those well meaning friends and family members do more harm than good if you aren’t ready to make the change yourself. The guilt of letting them down adds more stress, makes me feel worse about myself, and in turn makes me self-medicate with chocolate. Because chocolate never fails to give me a few minutes of pure bliss.
The question is, what will it take to get motivated? If not other people, what makes that switch click inside that says “I’m ready, I’m gonna do this!”? I guess that’s different for everyone. Tell me, if you have lost weight, what was your motivation? Do you deal with well meaning family and friends? Talk to me 🙂