I’m old. When did this happen? My husband is 8 years older than me, and he is in his 50s!!! FIFTIES!!!!!????? WTF? How did this happen??? When did this happen? In my mind, I’m still 21. I don’t look it, I look silly acting like it, but I just can’t understand how I tuned old.
But I’m not old! There are people that are always old. You know those people? They could be you own age but they feel so much older. Then there are the ones that hit that mid-life crises and go crazy, and others that still look awesome, even better than high school, still act young and crazy, are cool parents, and have just settled into a happy groove.
That’s where I am in my life…settled into a happy groove. I am old enough and settled enough to just enjoy the rest of my life. It used to be all about career and kids, now I’m more mellow, just happy for the life I have.
Maybe too happy, since I don’t seem to care enough about my weight to do enough about it. My husband, on the other hand, who always had a good body has spent this last year working out. His body is almost as good as the guys I post on my book blog page. I’m just a blob…but a happy blob!
This past year has been amazing for me. I started Ana’s Attic over a year ago, and in June I turned it into a real blog. In this year I have gained friends through blogging that I never would have met before, and they have become closer friends, despite the distance than I could ever imagine. They are all younger than me (fuckers), but it doesn’t feel that way! (Well except for one whose mother is the same age as me).
Life isn’t all about how you look! I’m getting old, I’ve gotten fat….but I’m HAPPY. I’m married almost 23 years to a guy that tells me I’m sexy every day and can’t keep his hands off of me. I am more in love with him than ever. I have two amazing boys, big and little rock stars that I get to go out to clubs and see play every weekend. My weight is the only thing (OK, money can be an issue for everyone) in my life that I’d like to change. But it’s not the end-all be-all of my life. I am not going to beat myself up. I’m happy. I will not let my weight make me miserable. (Though I did have a bit of an almost-crying jag earlier because I need clothes and hate shopping).
So my goal for this year in my life is to stay happy! Happy is what you make of it. I am continuing Weight Watchers for the next year. Right now, honestly, I haven’t been doing well, but I will get it back. I HAVE to. Why not work on making the one thing in my life that makes me unhappy less of an issue? But I know this, I will not let it rule me and make me miserable, and maybe that’s the key.