Guest Post by Author R.L. Griffin
My weight is something I’ve thought about every single day of my life since I was 13.
Although I’m excited to do this guest post, it pisses me off, because I wish I didn’t have to think about my weight. ?I wish that I didn’t have to exercise to stay the same weight, but I do, so that’s reality. ?I’ve always been a well rounded body type. ?I competed in gymnastics from the time I was 6 until the 6th grade. ?I trained and practiced at least 2 hours a day every day. ?I’m an athlete, always have been. ?From my years of gymnastics I was muscular, very toned for my entire adolescence. ?Of course, I thought I was fat. ?I wasn’t. ?When I hit college and wasn’t practicing or running everyday that’s when then real weight hit. ?I gained the freshman 20. ?My sophomore year I lost it all by being psychotic about what I ate and excercising like a crazy person. ?A couple of years went by and I went to law school, I gained 20 pounds out of pure fucking shock of why I had paid to go to law school. ?The second year I lost it all and I was in great shape until I got a real job. ?Then the weight hit that I couldn’t get off because I was behind a desk all day.
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With my body I have to work out, if I don’t work out I gain weight, period. ?I have had years where I’ve been so proud of myself. ?Then I’ve had years like this past year where I’ve gained 20 pounds and can’t fit in my fat pants. ?Recently, I was feeling extra fat so I pulled out my standby fat black pants. ?As I pulled them over my hips, I thought “this cannot be right.” ?I took them off and checked the label, they were my fat pants. ?MY FAT PANTS ARE TOO TIGHT! ?My mother fucking fat pants are too tight. ?I know there are those people out there that have had that experience, knowing you’ve gained a few pounds but then there is one thing that makes you realize you are out of control.
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Since I’ve had my son I’ve had a really hard time with my weight. ?I was able to lose weight, but I didn’t have time to go to the gym to get those last 10 pounds off because I wanted to hang out with my kid that I never see because I work full time. ?So I started getting up earlier in the morning and running. ?I was doing good until last August when I started writing my recent series and I’ve gained 20 fucking pounds. ?20 FUCKING POUNDS AND MY FAT PANTS ARE TIGHT.
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So I’m writing this on a flight to Aspen where I’m going to hang out and drink all weekend with friends, which I’m very much looking forward to since I’ve decided that I will have to reign myself back in. ?No more writing or Facebooking at lunch. I will be running. ?No more tunafish subs from Jimmy John’s, which I fucking love, I will be packing soup or salad. ?I’ve been gaining and losing weight long enough to know what I need to do, sometimes I just get too fucking lazy to do it. ?Also, I LOVE FOOD AND WINE! ?I swear it is so hard for me to say no to certain things, wine is one of those things.
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I will start tracking my calories and workouts again, because I know if I’m paying attention and make it my mission it will happen. ?I will get back in the pants that are smaller than my fat pants, I just need to be disciplined enough to do it. I will wake up on Monday and pack my workout clothes and run at lunch. ?I will be sweaty for the rest of the work day because I value myself and know I will feel better when I can wear the clothes I want to, not the clothes that cover my extra weight.
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Again, do I wish I was one of those people who didn’t have to watch every single thing I put in my mouth? ?Hell yes, but I’m realistic and I’ve decided to get back on it showing those fat pants who’s their daddy or mommy for that matter.
R.L. resides in the Atlanta area with some cool dudes: her husband, son and one crazy dog.? She was born and raised in the South.? She attended Georgia Southern University and moved to Washington, D.C. to intern in the United States Senate during the impeachment trial.? Falling in love with the city, she went to law school at American University, Washington College of Law.? By A Thread is R.L.?s second book, but is the first in a series of books.
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Kerry says
I have always struggled with weight and now that Iam getting older it’s harder. And with being in the go all the time doesn’t help either.
R.L. Griffin says
I totally agree. I hardly get to see my kid because I work so it’s hard to choose to miss another hour from my son.
Jennifer Lane says
Hi, R.L.! I look forward to meeting you in March to commiserate together. I have been overweight all my life, and I’ve been a fit athlete. Some think those are mutually exclusive, but it’s just been true for me. I’ve learned some disheartening facts about how hard it is to lose weight and KEEP IT OFF. Our bodies really fight us to get back to our highest weight no matter how much we try, and it keeps getting harder with every loss-regain cycle. At this point I’m working to be as fit as possible and striving to feel less negative about my strong body. It’s so tough!
R.l. Griffin says
Its super hard Jennifer, especially when what used to work to get the pounds off doesn’t work anymore. I can’t wait to meet you too. You’re going to NASW too right?
IveGotLotsToSay says
I swear to god I have the same pair of fucking pants. I don’t think its us..its the closet. I am convinced its not really a closet, its a ginormous dryer and its set on HOT at some undisclosed time when we are at work. The closet shrunk my pants. The closet shrunk your pants too. Go and have fun. Fuck the pants and fuck the closet too!
R.L. Griffin says
My closet shrunk my shirts, bras and skirts too! My dresses are immune to the shrinkage, I’ve been wearing dresses for three weeks.
Ana says
Funny you say that. The other name I was choosing from for this blog was whoshrunkmypants.com
Juewelz says
I can relate to this so much. I went to target tonight and looked in the mirrror like… ” This can’t be me” really !? But it was and is. Did it stop me from buying M&M’s no.. But I do know what I NEED to do. It’s just i’m lazy. But I will start back up one of these mondays..
Ana says
I can be disgusted with myself and continue to shove chocolate in my face. I don’t get it.