Recently I went away for Wicked Girls Book Weekend, and found myself at the older end of the spectrum. What? When the fuck did I get OLD? I mean I found myself hanging out with a few girls that have MOTHERS younger than me! WTF?
I’m in my mid 40s. I have a second grader and a teenager, so they keep me kind of young. Most people tell me I look way younger, but really, who is going to say I look my age? I think that having the extra fat just puffs out my wrinkles. But I’m sure my fair skin and my avoidance of sun have helped.?My husband is significantly older than me, I think he looks pretty hot too, despite the hair loss.
I consider us the “younger” group of the people my age. There are other moms I know, who are way younger than me that just seem so much older. Maybe because they never seem to let loose and have fun. ?My kids say I’m a “cool mom” (but not that cool). I don’t take myself too seriously, and try to have fun and enjoy myself. (Plus, I tend to act like an obnoxious 12 year old boy.) Even more as I get older, I am just over all the hang-ups I had when I was younger. I don’t care if I fit in with the PTA moms, or the gorgeous skinny suburban moms. If you don’t like me the way I am, I am not going to change for you or pretend to be something I’m not.
But as I look back to my 20s and 30s I wonder, do I want to go back? Sure, I’d love to be thin and healthy without the need for glasses. I’d love to have non-floppy boobs and be able to wear 5 inch heels and dance all night. But I honestly have to say, I am happier than ever in my life. I am so much more settled in who I am as a wife, a mother, a friend and a person. My husband and I have been through all the hurdles and came out the other side unscathed and stronger than ever.?Our sex life is better than ever, and I’m enjoying watching my kids blossom into wonderful, cool, funny young men, without the stresses and hang-ups I had when in my younger years.
If I look back in my life, and think about an age I’d like to go back to, I honestly can’t think of one. Maybe a year or two ago because I love the kids a little younger, but then I didn’t have these blogs that I love. Any time before that, and I had the stresses (and joys) of little kids, but my marriage wasn’t as strong.
I am also very lucky I still have healthy parents. We lost my father-in-law last year, and I guess the only thing really scaring me about the future is the thought of losing my parents, or God forbid, my OLD husband. (He’s 8 years older than me, totally a cradle robber when we met 26 years ago).
One thing I won’t let happen: I will NOT let age take me! I’m gonna fight with wrinkle cream and hair dye when I need it. I will not cut my hair short because I’m old. I’ll get a tattoo at 45! I can still get crazy! It may take me longer to recover, and I may forget what I was doing in the first place, but I am NOT old…honestly, I’ve gotten bigger and better with age.
As I add the Miralax to my coffee, I ask…What about you? Do you have an age you wish you could go back to?