Oh boy, menopause. That fun time in a woman’s life when everything starts to go haywire and the thermostat in your body seems to be broken. If you’re like me, you’ve probably already experienced some of the joys of perimenopause or menopause, like mood swings, hot flashes, and insomnia. But don’t worry, it gets even better!
Let’s start with the hot flashes, shall we? They’re like little mini saunas that pop up randomly throughout the day, leaving you feeling like you’re on fire. And of course, they always seem to strike at the most inconvenient times, like when you’re giving a presentation at work or trying to enjoy a nice dinner out with friends. Nothing says “sexy” like turning red, sweating profusely and fanning yourself with a menu. Now I don’t go anywhere without my emergency little fan. And people wonder why I don’t date.
And let’s not forget about the mood swings. One minute you’re laughing at a silly cat video on YouTube, and the next minute you’re sobbing uncontrollably because you spilled your coffee. It’s like being on an emotional rollercoaster that you can’t get off of. And don’t even get me started on the insomnia. It’s like your brain decides that 3am is the perfect time to start replaying every embarrassing moment from your past.
Add to that a new layer of blubber around your middle, 20 pounds you can’t lose, and your minor aches and pains start to become “Will I be able to get out of this chair?”. And what about hurting yourself in your sleep? WTF is that? You need a magnifying mirror to put on makeup, but OMG, you don’t want to look too closely, because where the fuck did that hair on your chin come from?
But it’s not just the physical and emotional symptoms that make menopause a blast. There’s also the societal stigma that comes with it. Society tells us that women are supposed to be youthful, fertile creatures, and once we hit menopause, we’re no longer seen as desirable or valuable. It’s like we have an expiration date stamped on our foreheads. We become invisible.
But here’s the thing: menopause doesn’t have to be a death sentence. Sure, it can be uncomfortable and inconvenient, but it’s also a natural part of life. And as women, we should embrace it and celebrate the fact that we’ve made it this far. We’re strong, we’re resilient, and we can handle anything that life throws our way. So the next time you get upset about about menopause, just remember: you’re a badass who’s been through hell and back. And that’s something to be proud of.
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